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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (947)
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- July 2019
Real changes are occurring
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 10:46 am
Coming back into the present
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 2:32 am
Im extremely frustrated
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 11:14 pm
Fining myself or facing myself
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 8:39 pm
Im beginning to understand
   Sun Jul 14, 2019 3:30 pm
Visualizing
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 8:28 pm
Starting from the beginning
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:35 pm
The trap house part 2
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:13 pm
The trap house; I only knew about; In the end I win
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 1:15 am
Massive Mega paradigm shift
   Thu Jul 11, 2019 3:01 pm
First post recovery conversation
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 9:55 pm
Dating and Art
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 4:44 pm
movement
   Tue Jul 09, 2019 5:56 pm
childhood abandonment
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:23 pm
Being single
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:53 am
Preview: PTSD; High School
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 10:31 pm
Fear
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 4:34 pm
Ive found some answers
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:41 pm
D.I.D; let me introduce myself
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PTSD; dealing with triggers.
   Fri Jul 05, 2019 5:32 am
Making me into a loser; its all about the critical voice
   Thu Jul 04, 2019 6:08 pm
Molding sound like clay; having reasons; Things are changing
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 4:25 pm
critical voice
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 6:38 am
Toxic shame
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 11:05 pm
Ive found some answers
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 7:59 am

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Fears going back to childhood; problems with women

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Mon Oct 08, 2018 12:47 pm

So; their are problems with women; general fears stemming from my childhood! This sound like a women hating situation! its not quit; its a general fear of everything problem! Women have little to do with it; if anything! In fact; they are the most neutral of situations! The main problem is; I want women; thats why Im always bringing it up! Ive gotten as far as phone numbers; but the children in me stop me! I get blocked! And Im trying to take over my own system and un block it!
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The child in me does not want to see his mother! For she as of a satanic origin and unsafe! And so I try to stay away! When I see women; I see satan; they are unsafe manipulators! They have no conscious; no decrement for right or wrong; Seem to have no interest in reasoning skills; nothing! unsafe!
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I do not feel safe around people! So; how am I going to bring women into my life!
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Actually, I do bring women into my life; but their the wrong women! thats the problem! Im not around the right ones!
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I can laid any time I want! The problem is; I dont want to get laid by women Im not emotionally interested in; meaning! I will fall to pieces because the women will be done with sex and Ill be all alone! The way to solve this; have a girlfriend!
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Im interested in an Asian soulmate; nothing else; So; Im working with the universe on this! I have blocks to getting close to people; and yet, I tell you I want an Asian-soulmate!
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So; the fear is real; real of rejection or getting hurt; However, I have the friendly universe on my side to bring me what I visualize!
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ITs hard to visualize something right now; I have to work through blocks that I can complete visualization align with my inner being; this is the most Strenuous of situations these days; of the day!
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I have to learn to follow through on my visualizations until I am aligned with my inner being; I dont get to stop the process and dissociate; that is the problem! The outcome is not important; the process is important; their lies a bottleneck in the process and I have to fix it; and Im working on facing the fear of getting close to this bottleneck that I fix it!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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