Our partner

User avatar
OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1052
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1751)
Archives
- March 2024
A gift from God #2
   Sat Mar 16, 2024 9:21 pm
The Gift from God…
   Tue Mar 12, 2024 5:29 pm
2 goals; elements of accomplishment
   Tue Mar 12, 2024 1:41 pm
Work Ethic is Needed Please
   Tue Mar 12, 2024 4:46 am
Some Solutions; Lot of Hope
   Thu Mar 07, 2024 5:39 am

+ February 2024
+ January 2024
+ December 2023
+ November 2023
+ October 2023
+ September 2023
+ August 2023
+ July 2023
+ June 2023
+ May 2023
+ April 2023
+ March 2023
+ February 2023
+ January 2023
+ December 2022
+ November 2022
+ October 2022
+ September 2022
+ August 2022
+ July 2022
+ June 2022
+ May 2022
+ April 2022
+ March 2022
+ February 2022
+ January 2022
+ December 2021
+ November 2021
+ October 2021
+ September 2021
+ August 2021
+ July 2021
+ June 2021
+ May 2021
+ April 2021
+ March 2021
+ February 2021
+ January 2021
+ December 2020
+ November 2020
+ October 2020
+ September 2020
+ August 2020
+ July 2020
+ June 2020
+ May 2020
+ April 2020
+ March 2020
+ February 2020
+ January 2020
+ December 2019
+ November 2019
+ October 2019
+ September 2019
+ August 2019
+ July 2019
+ June 2019
+ May 2019
+ April 2019
+ March 2019
+ February 2019
+ January 2019
+ December 2018
+ November 2018
+ October 2018
+ September 2018
+ August 2018
+ July 2018
+ June 2018
+ May 2018
+ April 2018
+ March 2018
+ February 2018
+ January 2018
+ December 2017
+ November 2017
+ October 2017
+ September 2017
+ August 2017
+ July 2017
+ June 2017
+ May 2017
+ April 2017
+ March 2017
+ February 2017
+ January 2017
+ December 2016
+ November 2016
+ September 2016
+ August 2016
+ July 2016
+ June 2016
+ May 2016
+ April 2016
+ March 2016
+ February 2016
+ January 2016
+ December 2015
+ November 2015
+ October 2015
+ September 2015
+ August 2015
+ April 2015
+ March 2015
+ February 2015
+ January 2015
+ December 2014
+ November 2014
+ October 2014
+ September 2014
+ August 2014
+ July 2014
+ June 2014
+ May 2014
+ April 2014
+ March 2014
+ February 2014
+ January 2014
+ December 2013
+ November 2013
+ October 2013
+ September 2013
+ August 2013
+ July 2013
+ June 2013
+ May 2013
+ April 2013
+ March 2013
+ February 2013
+ January 2013
+ December 2012
+ November 2012
+ October 2012
+ September 2012
+ August 2012
+ July 2012
+ June 2012
+ May 2012
+ April 2012
+ March 2012
+ February 2012
+ January 2012
+ December 2011
+ November 2011
Search Blogs

Fear of beautiful women

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Tue Apr 08, 2014 5:43 pm

Im sure theirs a phobia name for it.

Gynophobia: the fear or Horror Feminae! Yes, I have this! or some of this. However, its suggests Im also a masochist! Hmmm.... I guess so! Im not sure...

t is, perhaps, not difficult to account for the horror — much stronger than that normally felt toward a person of the same sex — with which the invert often regards the sexual organs of persons of the opposite sex. It cannot be said that the sexual organs of either sex under the influence of sexual excitement are esthetically pleasing; they only become emotionally desirable through the parallel excitement of the beholder. When the absence of parallel excitement is accompanied in the beholder by the sense of unfamiliarity as in childhood, or by a neurotic hypersensitiveness, the conditions are present for the production of intense horror feminae or horror masculis, as the case may be. It is possible that, as Otto Rank argues in his interesting study, "Die Nacktheit in Sage und Dichtung," [sic] this horror of the sexual organs of the opposite sex, to some extent felt even by normal people, is embodied in the Melusine type of legend.[6]

This suggests Im afraid of women's organs.. F@ck!

Possibly afraid they will find me staring at their organs.. Bling!

I have this Gynophobia; its terror, and that is not all! 2 other problems;

I have no development! and this is a brutal strange immaturity! its horrible for social acceptance; scares the f@ck out me if anyone finds out! I will be the laughing stock of the village!

I tried to tell myself that none of this matters. For God sake, nothing else matters. This is human living! this is all that matters. What the f@ck was I f@cking smoking when I thought to check out of life! What did I think was going to take its place; fantasy! F@ck, what am I thinking about!

Allot of this is fear of approach! and standing next to someone that doesn't give a f@ck! They can take me or leave me! and all of these things are much bigger then my insecurities. I do not think I can match up or even play in this game of confidence.

I have no confidence. I mean I really have no confidence! Im attempting to get honest about it that I can start to work on a solution!

The first idea is to feel comfertable around people and be myself!

Its about building confidence; and that is done through real experience close up!

Close up means; you are making girls laugh close up! you are in front of them taking chances! that is the only way to gain real experience. Real experience gains confidence!

I think the key is; as a man, its an inside job. You have to do the work on the inside to make you strong again! I use 12 step system and groups.. and many other things for my recovery work.

If Im having a real problem with women; I have more work to work on myself. At some point the fear of being in front of someone and talking to someone closeup must occur!

I don't have to practice with the same people! My biggest problem is wanting to impress the women at the meetings when they are just playing me! They don't see me and could careless.

I want to hang with them, be accepted with them, get attention from them, knowing that they like me!
I want them to dual all over me! I want their attention because I have always known I was worth it!

I am treated less then what Im worth by most people!

I am treated less then by most people! No one sees my worth! and Im not responding to it. Im acting if! I can't do anything else when attacked.

My mother destroyed me and had no feelings for me! and never wanted to see me again for any reason! She treated my brothers and myself like slaves. We did not know what was going on until it was to late!

My mind was already crushed from long term PTSD problems, I had no chance! trauma was destroying me as much as she was... Soon, there was no need for a mother to destroy me! mental illness begin to destroy me! and the community and original family system abandon me as fast as possible! laughing all the way to the bank. Murderers, that is all these people ever were. Evil worthless trash!

------------------

When I was young; I was blocked from working out my own feelings and attitudes. I remember my house, and other houses down the blocks and the fiends I had.

When my original house was taken way, or I taken from it,, No one cared that I could not process information anymore.... I could go no further into that past!

Im trying to open up that past! The problem is the break that occurred that separated me from that past! That break was deep and wide. Im attempting to go past that break and get my past; bring it back in alignment. It is my past and no one has the right to take it from me!

I was frightened out of my past; intimidated out of it! It was my past, I was terrorized out of it! I would say in a sense; I was threatened that if I remembered anything of my original self, I would be abandon with permanence! That was the subtle underlining control these people had over me! it was like being a slave under captures.

Im attempting to face this and get my past memories back to self.

Within me; I have been trained out of looking at my own memories. Its as if a guard or monster is in my head! it gets unleashed if I look at myself! I was trained that my memories and self belonged to the captors! And they could rent me out any time they wanted. I was convinced that I did not own myself; my inner self or my brain or mind or potential.

It makes me so sick to see all of this! its horrible that this happened. Its beyond belief! Theres no way to describe to anyone what this is like. To have this nightmare happen!
-----------------

On a positive note; Im finally leaving my church. The idiot running it, as ran of most of the people. Im finally leaving! Ive already switched churches.

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
0 Comments Viewed 11092 times

Who is online

Registered users: Bing [Bot], Google [Bot], Google Feedfetcher, krk1087