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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1025)
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- November 2019
Social skills improving
   Thu Nov 07, 2019 12:51 am
My goal is to work through adolescence.
   Fri Nov 01, 2019 9:16 pm

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Fear and being shy

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sun Apr 15, 2018 2:22 am

When it comes to attracting women; I have to approach them! its very hard! Not because Im not confident! (pause); " because Im not confident"; Ive been made to feel ashamed of my perusal situation in this country; I dont! However, its terrifying to be around a nation of prejudice people! Who wants to be around a group of people that will literally spit in my face because of my economic situation and the reasons for it; who wants to go through this! I dont! I have no problem with my life! Ive taken a dead life and brought it back to life; will any women understand this and give status credit for this?; Not so fare!

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Because Im not around the right tribe of people that will see my worth and value; I hide! For example; What if I meet a women that expects my wardrobe to be nice! What if its not? Does this take away from my real value; of course not! So, I have to buy a 770$ leather coat to show Im confident; as a women can see by the way I dress!
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I dress sloppy; Im the most confident person you've ever met! but not in wardrobe! Can this change; I will inventory the women and decide if it is worth my time!
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Do I have to be with a women with a PHD to get her to have any deep concept of right or wrong; possibly!
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I have to learn to flirt again! I can; but Im terrified! The terror is in feeling Im less then, and Ive done nothing wrong! financially, Im at the bottom of the barrel, never enough! Its hard to get over this!
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Its hard to get over my past; I dont want it be used against me!
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ITs possible I need better women to choose from! Women that" see me"!
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Im shy; Im intelligent; its normal! Im not shy around decent people!
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touch her on the arm!
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I came up to a women and asked for her number and called her; she never called me back! Why did she attempt to get my attention in the first place! Im not dumb! hundreds of problem went wrong! Why cant this women think and ask why things went wrong! Is it really an indication of my lack of worth?
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ITs possible that I dont feel I have any confidence when dealing with specific caste systems! I dont feel I can complete!
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Women are interested in wearing enough make up to make up for the aging faces while my only concern is getting an ethical conversation out of them! and; I have to trust someone; a women needs to show me she can be trusted; that is the number one issue!
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Its interesting that I can be a man that women find attractive or have found attractive; and yet, in the present; no women around me! nothing! No confidence? I have a zero level of what Im suppose to be in this society; Im wondering if Im around the wrong people! People who have never seen my worth! its frustrating and ridiculous! My value as a human being seems to have no value with these people; nothing! This suggests that I meet the right people!
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I feel like I have to have more money or a better place to live or; I guess I could make things up of what Im suppose to have!
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I have to stay positive! I can; but this is ridiculous!
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However, Im working with the universe! and I can use the secret to find the right people! this is crazy!
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Im in a society that hates sensitive intelligent people; its ridiculous!

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playing games to get dates;
Im scared to death to be a person that would act like Im disqualifying her to make myself scarce to her; so I can attract her? Do I really have to go though this non sense! seriously! Why cant I just be myself! This is ridiculous!
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Im more interested in women who have brains! Looks are important! I have to be pleased with their looks; meaning; I personally like them! Other then that! she has to see my worth; not what she can get from it!
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Women that want prince charming; Im not prince charming! Not unless this is the right girl!
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Most of this would not matter if I was associating with the right people! and this scares me to death! because Im scared of being judged! I feel like Im going out into a world of my enemies and trying to get a date with their women!
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PTSD causes me to be socially freaked out!
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I have no pics on my FB page! I dont care! This is ridiculous! I dont have 40 pics of women on my site to give the idea that women are all over me! Their not all over me because most of them are not smart enough to value me! Why would I hang out with women like this!

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So, why am I not hanging out with the right women; well, thats why I want to ask women out;
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You get freaked out when your worth something and not attracting anyone!
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I suppose it comes down to what Im willing go through in order to have the right women in my life! Im an honorable man! Many people I'm around dont know this and would attempt to knock me off this pedestal; they cant; at the some point; How many more people do I have to leave and I go solo as a human being because of their judgments.
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Ive rarely asked any women out! I dont ask them out because I dont want to get my arms ripped of because I dont have all the shallow trappings they seek; shot down by the women I really like; its to much! its 2 hard to continue to value people who dont deserve it! Or people who wont value me because of lesser issues like money! Money is important; However, its not my fault!
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Their is a wall between myself and women in my country! and it continues to get worse! Im not the only one complaining! However, I just assume to bi pass these idiots and find real decent people to deal with! However, when I get around the " decent" people; they judge me with prejudice because of lack of career or work or money!
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Its possible that in this society; the price to be with women has risen higher then most men can afford or care to afford to be apart of! Im not sure the value of women is so high! What their asking for is 2 high! to much! and its always been this way? These women want something for nothing; its not right! its not how the nature of the universe works! the universe can take only so much; soon, it will send a great correction upon the people of this land!
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Im not interested in impregnating a women so she can have off spring, then divorce me; take everything I own or I have and I pay alimony for another 18 years for her children; I say; " her children" because of the laws; I would never see them! Why would I put myself in this situation! ridiculous!
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Ive met women that run from me simply because their 2 shallow! They want certain traits in men but they are so lazy; they wont take half a moment to actually think deeply enough to recognize that what they want; I have! I do not chase such people!
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If your shallow and have allot of money; your in; welcome to society!
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I dont know! but I do!
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I work with the universe and the " secret" and the laws of attraction; so, the universe will bring me who I want; when I can be positive about who I want!
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I would have no problem acting as a better man if I could find women Im actually interested in!
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My complaints about women roll of the back of women who have enough money or can attract enough money! They wont care; it will mean nothing to them!
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I have to tell the universe to bring me the plans to get to the right women! My complaint is all the redundancy of finding the wrong women; getting rid of them; getting them out of my way, so I can find the right ones; this is the heart break for me! Ive been through a lot of trauma and this is very hard for me! its horrible! its like digging up the past every time Im going after the wrong women and reliving the past where I was thrown away;; over n over n over!
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On a positive note! I have to decide if I want to go through this! I had no idea as a child anything like this was going to happen to me! that I would be in a situation where all the women I meet think Im a loser when in reality, Im a winner! All of my values have no value to women; but a thug who will turn them into baby mama's has all the " cool"!
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Nothing drives me more crazy, then a women that is interested in me; suddenly, she brings in her 3.5 children and new makeup and new clothing! As if Im suppose to become " stepfather"! Im not sure anymore what to think!
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I need to be specific of what Im asking the universe for!
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As for looks!
Ive had the most beautiful women in any group throw themselves on me when young; in the past, when I was young! it did me no good! I was mentally ill and could never respond to anyone; not one! Finally with dissociative disorder, I could no longer interact with anyone!
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Looks or makeup or a face that looks like a model creatds with face paint; is not enough! I have to be able to talk to the person;; ridiculous!
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Its hard for me to believe that everything always seems to go wrong around women; always! Why?
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If I really want women in my life; Im going to have to start affirmations that everything is always going right for me around women!
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What is needed; Positive affirmations!
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positive affirmations;
Most of this trouble is about my confidence or lack of; I need Positive affirmations! I have to work on this! I must some how believe in myself within a society of stupid dumbed down people!
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Positive affirmations! Positive affirmations for building confidence around women will solve everything here! So, Ive got to get to work!
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I truly mean this; Positive affirmations concerning how I feel about myself will solve all of this; its just allot of work!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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