I was brought up in a situation where I was completely ignored as a human being! No one cared! What did they care about; themselves!
I was not noticed! But I thought I had a shot at it; a shot at life, so I attempted to build a world outside! It was pulled down around me! I got to a certain level; then everything was destroyed!
The point;
What do I do now; whats holding me back!~
1. I need the original me back! I need my memories back!
2. I need that feeling of safety and clarity
3. I need to know Im safe and comfortable; that I have a future!
4. Ive been broken several times; I have to work through that and find safe places! And rebuild self! The psychopaths want to destroy everything!
5. I have to work through the hideous insanities I was put through!
6. I was used; no one cared about my future! when I tried to care about my future, I was removed from the situation and left somewhere else to rot! I was never able to get things together! I was dumped at the age of 10! and that was permanent! However, I went out of my way to go back to the sociopaths! its all I knew! I saw them as my parents! in actuality, I never really had any parents! these weirdoes did not parent anyone!
I have to get all memories of the past out and start over again! This is not an easy feat! I have to accept what really happened to me! This is not easy!
None of this is easy! I need my memories back! Memories of 3rd grade, second grade, first grade! 4th grade, 5th grade! 3 years old, 4 years old, 5 years old!