Our partner

User avatar
OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1036
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1109)
Archives
- November 2020
emotions starting to bleed out; This is good
   Thu Nov 26, 2020 7:11 pm
Anxiety and dealing with the opposite sex
   Wed Nov 25, 2020 7:52 am
The work is over my head; but thats OK
   Wed Nov 18, 2020 8:35 am
Wont let the people I love into my life...
   Tue Nov 17, 2020 5:45 am
Social and feeling worthy
   Mon Nov 16, 2020 4:21 pm
Loving myself for real
   Fri Nov 13, 2020 5:15 pm
Moving onward
   Fri Nov 13, 2020 1:29 pm
And her vision keeps getting closer
   Wed Nov 11, 2020 11:19 am
On moving on and creating a new life
   Sun Nov 08, 2020 9:53 pm
Breaking the dating barrier
   Sat Nov 07, 2020 6:22 pm
Back to the drawing board with women
   Thu Nov 05, 2020 2:53 am
Changes are occurring; still isolated and lonely
   Tue Nov 03, 2020 6:13 am

+ October 2020
+ September 2020
+ August 2020
+ July 2020
+ June 2020
+ May 2020
+ April 2020
+ March 2020
+ February 2020
+ January 2020
+ December 2019
+ November 2019
+ October 2019
+ September 2019
+ August 2019
+ July 2019
+ June 2019
+ May 2019
+ April 2019
+ March 2019
+ February 2019
+ January 2019
+ December 2018
+ November 2018
+ October 2018
+ September 2018
+ August 2018
+ July 2018
+ June 2018
+ May 2018
+ April 2018
+ March 2018
+ February 2018
+ January 2018
+ December 2017
+ November 2017
+ October 2017
+ September 2017
+ August 2017
+ July 2017
+ June 2017
+ May 2017
+ April 2017
+ March 2017
+ February 2017
+ January 2017
+ December 2016
+ November 2016
+ September 2016
+ August 2016
+ July 2016
+ June 2016
+ May 2016
+ April 2016
+ March 2016
+ February 2016
+ January 2016
+ December 2015
+ November 2015
+ October 2015
+ September 2015
+ August 2015
+ April 2015
+ March 2015
+ February 2015
+ January 2015
+ December 2014
+ November 2014
+ October 2014
+ September 2014
+ August 2014
+ July 2014
+ June 2014
+ May 2014
+ April 2014
+ March 2014
+ February 2014
+ January 2014
+ December 2013
+ November 2013
+ October 2013
+ September 2013
+ August 2013
+ July 2013
+ June 2013
+ May 2013
+ April 2013
+ March 2013
+ February 2013
+ January 2013
+ December 2012
+ November 2012
+ October 2012
+ September 2012
+ August 2012
+ July 2012
+ June 2012
+ May 2012
+ April 2012
+ March 2012
+ February 2012
+ January 2012
+ December 2011
+ November 2011
Search Blogs

DTD

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Thu Jul 20, 2017 9:28 pm

Im looking to merge with self! the idea is to merge with the time period I got destroyed; and its possible because Ive done massive work! ITs about remembering who I was at that age, what I was thinking about and merging with him now; this includes the understanding with the child in me and with me; Im letting go of most if not all the people of that time period; most were dangerous to me; lethal is a better word! I was pulled into a trap; I was innocent and had absolutely no idea; nothing! I had no defenses up against anything! I never thought about defenses! Its possible that at the age of 10, I had the maturity of a 5 year old! and I believe it! their was no growth from 1st grad to 5th grade; nothing! I continued to wait for my parents to show up to start my education or belief in myself or interests! Instead of help me; they through me away! I was for ever locked in a noose of ice and stillness!
.
Now, as I wake up; Im urging myself to pull together; pull together the memories I remember and who I am now!
.
The last thing I remember was beneath the planet of the apes; this is about 1971!, but it feels totally normal to me! In fact, all my memories seem normal; the problem is, I haven't continued them! they stop at about 1972 or 1973! Id be about 10 years old!
.
The gaol is to merge them with now! its possible! Ive had luck and success so far; Im simply looking for the next immersion! The next integration of past self and present! Not easy! nothing is easy!
.
When I can merge with the 10 year old; he starts doing what he feels in the here n now, in the present; and I cant wait! should be fun! Im already doing it! One important aspect is that my friend from the past; boy hood friend is not with me; for he was never my friend! secretly and fiendishly I was being used!
.
I was developing at that time; whats sick, about my childhood! I had a whole world of memories from being younger! from 3 years old to 10 years old; I had a whole world of history! I was a living breathing human being, then destroyed or erased!
.
The goal for immersion into self is more talking with the right people; learning how to approach people and talk again; with nice people or more sophisticated educated people!
.
The point is; the emergence of selves is needed to do things now; to be developmental; to function again; to come out of CPTSD/DTD! To move from it; to function from it! to move out of the old PTSD slide shows of a thousand slides in my mind of trapped hopelessness! to move to a better life without the need of anyone showing up from my past because of developmental trauma!
.
Im learning I can now do things on my own to get the help I need to become independent again! So, Im working on integration! Im trying knew techniques so I can get the right people involved to help me mature past the DTD problem time periods!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
0 Comments Viewed 4477 times

Who is online

Registered users: Bing [Bot], Google [Bot], Google Adsense [Bot], Google Feedfetcher, KalliopePS, lilyfairy, Majestic-12 [Bot], NewSunRising, ParaDad, TeddyBear the helper, Tyche