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OMNICELL
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Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
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Dissociative disorder

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sun Nov 12, 2017 6:03 pm

Dissociative disorder is getting better; Im healing up, or Ive created or am creating a new life for myself within my mind and imagination and its taking my focus! I have a mind thats more then just turn up! My mind has some core interests and hobbies and activities; and these are attracting more thoughts from the past of the same positive things!
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In the beginning of my recovery I was amnesia man; no history of any kind! nothing!
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Im doing much better! and the processing to get me better did not come from anyone of the past! However, years ago, working with source energy Jesus Christ manifesto universe-ow! I did frequently visit past family members for the stricken purpose of learning more about the horror that I came from when young! It worked; I got just enough of what I needed and needed to know; then I silently left and never went back!
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Today, Im healing up! and if I want a Christmas or a Christmas tree; their is a good chance at some point in the future I will simply go buy one, go pick one out! However, I would pic it out for my own Christmas; not one I would spend alone! I would create my own Christmas with new loved ones; for this is getting closer for me; the world is marvelously moving inward toward me; all the social I missed for years!
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Last time I was social; age 15. As I moved into age 16, everything died and fell apart! I moved deeper into mental illness and never came out! 16 was the year of clinical depression; that lasted 20 years!
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Today, Im very close; but not yet! CPTSD still has its hands rapped around my throat! Its very hard to have a clear mind! Im fighting with PTSD all the time; learning how to use visualization skills to create a clear mind! ITs been a long time since having a clear mind!
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Dissociative disorder still keeps me locked down! My emotions go to my mind to create reality and not outside! And Im working on changing this. Im changing this on a daily basis! Im slowly waking up into a positive reality because Im creating that reality first in my head!
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Goals;
Im a goal man!
I have goals these days, and Im learning to dead center their images in my mind; What I focus on grows!
As I develop the ability to make plans and goals; my life is coming back to the present! When my vibration is equals with the earths, Ill step out of my pod onto rocky soul and live my life in real time! What does this look like! it means, depersonalization wont be as much a problem as it is now! It means Ill makes social plans for myself out in the real world!
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Im still heading into my mind for protection; a gap resides between me and the present outside world! Im slowly working on this!
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Ive learned; source energy God will bring new things to me! if I get a Asian-soulmate and it does work; source will bring me another and another and another until i get it right!
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As for Christmas; iF I want a family. and a Christmas tree; I can plan my own first! learn to believe first then ill see it! My own life, My own Christmas tree, My own Christmas! not dictated by others!
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As I get better at thinking, its all possible.
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As my mind gets used to trusting God again and working with God and allowing and receiving; things get better!
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I see my future; I see my future without the need of anyone from the past! This means Im free to create any kind of life I want and free to live it and feel great about it; no one interferes!
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Im still depersonalized! Im not fixed yet! Im heading into the right direction.

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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