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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (956)
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- July 2019
the strange world of getting better did
   Sun Jul 21, 2019 4:36 pm
This is not going to be easy.
   Sun Jul 21, 2019 10:47 am
Identity 101; so; it officinally begins; the rebuilding
   Sun Jul 21, 2019 2:25 am
Something positive is happening
   Sat Jul 20, 2019 11:54 pm
The Beatles
   Sat Jul 20, 2019 6:04 am
A place exists
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 11:21 pm
Things are changing again
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 3:41 pm
Things are heating up; Im now backing down
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 9:06 am
I have CPTSD
   Wed Jul 17, 2019 4:47 pm
Real changes are occurring
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 10:46 am
Coming back into the present
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 2:32 am
Im extremely frustrated
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 11:14 pm
Fining myself or facing myself
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 8:39 pm
Im beginning to understand
   Sun Jul 14, 2019 3:30 pm
Visualizing
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 8:28 pm
Starting from the beginning
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:35 pm
The trap house part 2
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:13 pm
The trap house; I only knew about; In the end I win
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 1:15 am
Massive Mega paradigm shift
   Thu Jul 11, 2019 3:01 pm
First post recovery conversation
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 9:55 pm
Dating and Art
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 4:44 pm
movement
   Tue Jul 09, 2019 5:56 pm
childhood abandonment
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:23 pm
Being single
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:53 am
Preview: PTSD; High School
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 10:31 pm
Fear
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 4:34 pm
Ive found some answers
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:41 pm
D.I.D; let me introduce myself
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:23 pm
PTSD; dealing with triggers.
   Fri Jul 05, 2019 5:32 am
Making me into a loser; its all about the critical voice
   Thu Jul 04, 2019 6:08 pm
Molding sound like clay; having reasons; Things are changing
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 4:25 pm
critical voice
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 6:38 am
Toxic shame
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 11:05 pm
Ive found some answers
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 7:59 am

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Dissociative disorder

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sun Nov 12, 2017 6:03 pm

Dissociative disorder is getting better; Im healing up, or Ive created or am creating a new life for myself within my mind and imagination and its taking my focus! I have a mind thats more then just turn up! My mind has some core interests and hobbies and activities; and these are attracting more thoughts from the past of the same positive things!
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In the beginning of my recovery I was amnesia man; no history of any kind! nothing!
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Im doing much better! and the processing to get me better did not come from anyone of the past! However, years ago, working with source energy Jesus Christ manifesto universe-ow! I did frequently visit past family members for the stricken purpose of learning more about the horror that I came from when young! It worked; I got just enough of what I needed and needed to know; then I silently left and never went back!
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Today, Im healing up! and if I want a Christmas or a Christmas tree; their is a good chance at some point in the future I will simply go buy one, go pick one out! However, I would pic it out for my own Christmas; not one I would spend alone! I would create my own Christmas with new loved ones; for this is getting closer for me; the world is marvelously moving inward toward me; all the social I missed for years!
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Last time I was social; age 15. As I moved into age 16, everything died and fell apart! I moved deeper into mental illness and never came out! 16 was the year of clinical depression; that lasted 20 years!
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Today, Im very close; but not yet! CPTSD still has its hands rapped around my throat! Its very hard to have a clear mind! Im fighting with PTSD all the time; learning how to use visualization skills to create a clear mind! ITs been a long time since having a clear mind!
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Dissociative disorder still keeps me locked down! My emotions go to my mind to create reality and not outside! And Im working on changing this. Im changing this on a daily basis! Im slowly waking up into a positive reality because Im creating that reality first in my head!
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Goals;
Im a goal man!
I have goals these days, and Im learning to dead center their images in my mind; What I focus on grows!
As I develop the ability to make plans and goals; my life is coming back to the present! When my vibration is equals with the earths, Ill step out of my pod onto rocky soul and live my life in real time! What does this look like! it means, depersonalization wont be as much a problem as it is now! It means Ill makes social plans for myself out in the real world!
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Im still heading into my mind for protection; a gap resides between me and the present outside world! Im slowly working on this!
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Ive learned; source energy God will bring new things to me! if I get a Asian-soulmate and it does work; source will bring me another and another and another until i get it right!
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As for Christmas; iF I want a family. and a Christmas tree; I can plan my own first! learn to believe first then ill see it! My own life, My own Christmas tree, My own Christmas! not dictated by others!
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As I get better at thinking, its all possible.
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As my mind gets used to trusting God again and working with God and allowing and receiving; things get better!
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I see my future; I see my future without the need of anyone from the past! This means Im free to create any kind of life I want and free to live it and feel great about it; no one interferes!
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Im still depersonalized! Im not fixed yet! Im heading into the right direction.

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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