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OMNICELL
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developmental challenge

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Wed Jun 05, 2013 6:41 pm

Im coming upon or slowly headed toward facing the damage of the developmental stage. This stage was damaged from neglect. I was neglected in a permanent fashion. I was thrown away from both parents. I was in complete shock from this. I have never come out of it! However, Im better from the recovery work! Therefore, I slow creep upon this unfortunate animal. Its an unforeseen nightmare of silence.

The truth is good enough!

At age 12 or 11 I was taken from my home permanently. This would be the last time I lived with my parents in a stable manner. After this departure, an involvement with my parents would be as second rated foster child. Foster child is not a good description. My mother sold my brothers and I down the river. She found an engineer to marry who had nice kids. She was a most worthless sociopath, sadistic in nature.

I had no planning for living with such a lo life as my mother. She was an abomination in the eyes of God. She was the whore of babylon, and worked fashion accordingly. She had no conscious, therefore, she felt nothing to destroy innocent people ( innocent children) Its to bad; she should have been locked up for life. She was a very intelligent person and knew the system. Intelligent trash of this nature will not allow there world to be disturbed. THey now how to cover tracks in order to make the outside world believe they are saints. One advantage these people had is money. They could cover everything up and claim no fault of there own. They loved nothing but money, self and indulgence. Criminals; white. white collar sadists.

I had no where to go, no home, no place, no identity. I could not protect myself alone, I was to young. I went into shock! More shock! I was given away to the state! Meaning, I was given to others, I was not given away to the state in the traditional sense. I was given up for adoption. I was not given to the state. I was given or thrown at other relatives. Even the relatives wondered about her behavior. My Grandmother would scream at my mother wondering why she abandon her children for frivolity.

Regardless of the mental illness problems I have received, I see no excuses for the sadistic sociopath or there behavior. They should be taken outside the village and executed. I see no purpose in keeping these people in societies.

My Father faired no different then my mother: He had a sense he was the only one on planet earth. He would rip off his own children then throw them nothing in return. the point is; he had no feeling for his own children or connection. When I was young he enjoyed us; my brothers and I, However, he never paid the bills for anything. He acted as if we were there for his entertainment, that he could leave at any moment and never return. How can a grown man abandon his own children; his family! Thus is the nature of Godlessness. only the Godless abandon there families. Only the Godless abandon children.

I had no one. I had nothing, nothing to hang onto. And I would never have a family again or its origins or histories or locations. As if I had been through a genocide, my history was destroyed as fast as it had been created.

These swindlers stole my life, my childhood. Thieves, robbers and murderers. Why are these people allowed around children. How can they have rights within society. Society is a hallucinatory nightmare. What a joke this is!

I have fragmented memories. Strange memories of two worlds. One world safe, Im slowly moving forward, then a new world of rape murder and abandonment in every form. However, its not ( every from) as I suggest. Its more subtle, no less effective, dangerous, saddening and destructive, death is death. slow death is slow death. Effective poisoning is poisoning. I was poisoned by my own parents. What kind of society is this?

I was found legally destroyed. Technically these people killed my brain, my mind! The fact Im more functioning at this point is GOd, therapists, 12 step groups, and a gruesome pathological intent on my part to stay alive and repair myself.

Ive had no help! Ive had to fight, scratch, yell, pull, lift, crawl most of the time, my way through the recovery process. No one was interested in me in a personal way! No one showed up to be my parents and help! Im not talking about finances, Im talking about emotional developmental support.

Ive been around for 50 years. No one has ever asked my story, or taken an interest in me! The fact that Im an honest man means nothing and has no interest to people. Strange society!

Many people know of my problems, however, I receive contempt and ridicule. Ive never been asked what is wrong with me. No one has asked how I feel. I refuse to tell anyone anything about myself. THey have to ask, or they get nothing.





She used me, she used my family and its members to leap to another family of opportunity that she use them. Its horrible. I wish I had never met this weirdo., These people need to be locked up. What a disgrace this has been. My brothers lives are ruined. My life was ruined, now after many years of un heard of brutal recovery, Im getting better, and God will grant me another chance on planet earth.. Lucky me? I guess!


Im no longer interested in believing the past had any value. what a gruesome mistake all of this has been. I had no friends, no real girl friends.. Nothing. It was a joke and a lie. I had no family! what a joke this has been.

Possibly, As I am learning to respond again! I can begin to live my life. Learn to live and do things I really enjoy; Playing drums and Piano, composing, making pictures and creating plays and stuff.

I like or love remote control stuff, like off road remote control dirt crawler mini trucks. Love remote control small helicopters. Im going to join the remote control club in the area. I ride up and around the park with the remote control club nearby.

I like rock tumbling and would like to collect rocks.

Want to play in a jazz fusion band and or heavy rock band.

Going to write my first symphony. Im very close to this. Ive done most of the equivalent.

I would to create animation video with my music comps...

Would like a pro cam to make movies in stereo of my stories.

ANd all of this plus digital art are on its way. I have no idea where it will land..

Im getting closer. It is hard labor because of self exposure. Its not the labor intensive part, its the knowing if it is any good. I suppose it doesn't matter.

ITs always about the PTSD and Dissociative Disorder and other stuff.

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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