I had clinical depression for 20 years! about 13 bouts of serious breakdown and suicidal concepts; very bad stuff! Clinical Depression is a mess; at a psychotic level; very bad mental condition; Im sure one of the worst! However, I healed!
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However, I have a general depression pessimism; or all the signs of Depression! its part of the horror of long term Dissociative disorder! And its real, and a state of mind!
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So, I have this on going anger depression! The issue; I dont need it! Im working to work out of it and get on to more pleasant things! with the work I have to do in order to get better, I dont want it! Fear and personal protection also, combine to make this a solid stuck kind of problem! Im working out of it! However, to work out of it I must confront the past a bit to quickly; and thats a problem!
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So, I have that desolation feeling! I have that desolation outlook, However, Im in a new age within myself and signs bursting outward! Im no longer interest in depression or being depressed Im not interested in being freaked out because Im stuck in desolation! Im stuck in desolation but Im not! Im slowly working on answers to get out of this negative magnetic box!
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Im stuck and Im not stuck! The key is; Im brainwashed by the only dismal crummy life I had! Now, Now, Im getting out of it, and its showing! Im moving again; their is movement within myself, within my life! Im breaking out!