Im having or have a big problem dealing with depersonalization! I have dissociative disorder, and these symptoms are showing!
Im better then I used to be; but can still not get close to people! I can shake hands and hug at times; but Im still in the corner of the room!
Most women wont talk to me!; they are to ######6 shallow! What do I expect! But Im not flirting with them either!
Im not close to anyone or getting close to anyone!
Women; they're waiting for me to ask them out! But Im not close enough or know anyone to ask out!
Most women I meet are 2 shallow!
So, there are still problems! And with many people; I will never get close to them; it will never happen! So, I need to meet better people or other people!
So, people are of the day! At least I can see what Im saying here! Im talking about meeting people! So, this is different! It means I see them differently! I don't see them as the bad creatures I used to see them as!
I was ruined and destroyed as a boy and teenager! It is horrible! Its to bad; a disservice! It is what it is! I never planned on it happening and never saw it coming and I'm lucky to be alive or functioning ! I had massive plans for myself and my future life! It was ruined! Im hoping to get it back!
I was ruined by psychopaths! They are like lizards or wolves! No conscious! No human laws! Nothing!
I was unprepared for it!
Anxiety is a big problem! And I don't know anyone! Im floating around 12 step meetings, trying to get better! But Im not connected to anyone; I never have been! I have to work with God to see if I can come back to normal around decent people!
Im still working on manifesting a practice room! I suppose this is a part of the journey; a long journey I guess! To bad! I feel like; by the time I get a practice room; ill die of old age! None of this makes sense! However, Ill work at creating a new story for my life and keep writing and working on it!
The most important goal; how to believe! That is the most important goal!
Day after day after after week, after month after month!
The goal is to believe! What will it take to believe! This is my number one goal in life!
I cant become a billionaire if you tell yourself you cant! If you learn to believe;' you not only can be a billionaire, you can be anything you want! Thats why believing is so important! First you think, then you believe it, then you receive it!
One has to go the distance; learn how to believe!
Learn how to love!
Heres the deal; if their was an easy way to kill myself! I be oudda here! Because there is not! I will turn to other ways to survive! So, that I may have meaning to all of this!
I have to keep working with the Laws of attraction until I believe!
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As I get better, the idea is to reach out to others regardless! most people I associate with don't give me respect or understand me! I have to continue to work on things!