Our partner

User avatar
OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1020)
Archives
- October 2019
Age doesn't matter; PTSD does
   Sat Oct 12, 2019 11:17 pm
A fear of getting laid; a horrible fear
   Thu Oct 10, 2019 6:44 pm
She thought I was crazy; and she wasn't alone
   Wed Oct 09, 2019 5:00 am
Signs of handling reality
   Mon Oct 07, 2019 9:20 am

+ September 2019
+ August 2019
+ July 2019
+ June 2019
+ May 2019
+ April 2019
+ March 2019
+ February 2019
+ January 2019
+ December 2018
+ November 2018
+ October 2018
+ September 2018
+ August 2018
+ July 2018
+ June 2018
+ May 2018
+ April 2018
+ March 2018
+ February 2018
+ January 2018
+ December 2017
+ November 2017
+ October 2017
+ September 2017
+ August 2017
+ July 2017
+ June 2017
+ May 2017
+ April 2017
+ March 2017
+ February 2017
+ January 2017
+ December 2016
+ November 2016
+ September 2016
+ August 2016
+ July 2016
+ June 2016
+ May 2016
+ April 2016
+ March 2016
+ February 2016
+ January 2016
+ December 2015
+ November 2015
+ October 2015
+ September 2015
+ August 2015
+ April 2015
+ March 2015
+ February 2015
+ January 2015
+ December 2014
+ November 2014
+ October 2014
+ September 2014
+ August 2014
+ July 2014
+ June 2014
+ May 2014
+ April 2014
+ March 2014
+ February 2014
+ January 2014
+ December 2013
+ November 2013
+ October 2013
+ September 2013
+ August 2013
+ July 2013
+ June 2013
+ May 2013
+ April 2013
+ March 2013
+ February 2013
+ January 2013
+ December 2012
+ November 2012
+ October 2012
+ September 2012
+ August 2012
+ July 2012
+ June 2012
+ May 2012
+ April 2012
+ March 2012
+ February 2012
+ January 2012
+ December 2011
+ November 2011
Search Blogs

Definitely something wrong with my sex life

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Thu Aug 02, 2018 3:43 pm

.
I seem to be hiding my feelings of what 'i really want; repressed. Coward to bring them out.
.
Im a coward in front of women; its like Im a child; and when they see this or feel it; their gone!
.
One time I had a few women over to my apartment; they were interested in working he recovery process; I found out later they wanted a three'sm in my bed; They both wanted to sleep with me! I got mad; not because they wanted to sleep with me; because of the way they went about it; they disguised themselves as innocent wanting recovery; I had no idea they wanted anything else! No idea; I was mad that I was being fooled into something else! And the fact they led me on to believe they really wanted some help in an area of importance to me! It felt creepy that they were in my apartment! that they had swindled their way in! IT was 2 abrupt for me! I wasn't in control and didn't feel safe! I told them to leave! They thought it had something to do with their looks; silly girls! It had to do with everything else! And then it hit me! I really could not have done anything else at that moment; my background with betrayal; it was to much for me; and to have these women betray my trust to get into my apartment was to ######6 creep for me!
.
What about the sex; I stopped 2 women from having sex with me at the same time. If I could have done it over; I would have had sex with them; ###$ the morality! or doing whats right! I would have liked to have ran after them and brought them back after I felt better!
.
I like to feel safe; I like to trust who comes into my apartment or my life! I like people to present themselves correctly to me!
.
I have massive sex problems anyway.
.
.
.
.
I don't have sex problems with sex; I have problems having women to have sex with! meaning; a gap resides between who I am and who I become friends with; its as if Ive become demobilized!
.
Im working with God the universe on relationships! I have no idea where to meet anyone; I don't know where! or who! Im myself and it doesn't seem good enough! However, I have to change my thoughts!
.
I don't get it; Im creative and intelligent; I have my problems! I don't understand! However, Im not around new people! I don't get respected for who I am; thats the biggest problem!
.
I have to turn to the universe and work with the universe to allow the universe to manifest the right people in my life!
.
This is a hard thing; Ive never had the right people around my life; never! Ive had some people that liked me; I could not respond to them; and they moved on; and that was that!
.
Ive never had any real friends!

.
This is a big big step up for me; to go back to dealing with the human race again! the most fearful thing; Im not who they think I am! I have problems! lots of them! I hate rejection; especially from people less then me!
.
The number one issue is trusting God and the universe. I have to learn to trust the universe; that the universe is bringing me people I can trust! and this is a horrible big one; in fact; its the biggest problem; the horrible thoughts of the past! of having my life thrown completely away; thats the biggest issue!
.
So; trusting the universe!
.
I have no real friends; nothing; have never had a girlfriend; nothing; nothing worth discussing! The only time I had a girlfriend is when money was rapped around it! I was in college! I had a relative supporting that college experience; some of it! However, that is miss leading; the system doing this; supporting me; also raped me and destroyed me! Their money was useless; I was torn to pieces and trampled to death by this point! I could not function in the outside world; it was a waist of money!
.
The point is; I could not or did not attract any women that saw any worth; nothing; and it remains the same for today!
.
Im working with the universe to bring me the women that the universe has in mind for me! However, I have to go out into the world and say hello! Im afraid of getting my arms ripped off!
.
So; with people; I have my work cut out for me!
.
.
However, its more then having my work cut out for me! I mean; this is a big serious manifestation; and I have to learn to follow through and be taught by he universe how to manifest what I want in life! I have to step up to the fear and face it and work through it until I have success!
Last edited by Snaga on Thu Aug 02, 2018 5:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: swear filter

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
0 Comments Viewed 996 times

Who is online

Registered users: alaskan91, ArbreMonde, asp3rg3r, Baidu [Spider], Bing [Bot], Google [Bot], Google Adsense [Bot], Google Feedfetcher, Majestic-12 [Bot], TeddyBear the helper, WhyDoIExist