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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1028)
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- December 2019
more changes ahead.
   Sun Dec 01, 2019 4:49 pm

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dealing with the masses

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sun Jul 13, 2014 7:44 pm

O, its very hard. People have offered their time and interest, but they are not family. They have there own families. So, I am treated with general interest, not specific interest. Its all very strange. I want he experiences assigned with people of generality, but I don't really want the people! I want them to help me get to my destination, they leave me alone. And I believe they are doing the same thing. Im being used and they don't care and will never care. They do not see my worth. Does anyone? has anyone ever seen my worth! don't know! doesn't seem so.

I have to work at things socially and deal with the nonsense people and the nonsense they through at me; I deal with it on a daily basis. I need more time! I need to get stronger. Im being played by manipulators that they get what they want. My benefit is; I tag along and get a benefit; but not much more. In the end I get rejected! nothing new... Im willing to but up with some of this to gain the experience. But at some point when better I will move on to other people!

My picker is broken; I can't pick the right people to associate with! everything is upside down! I will get used for awhile until I get this figured out!


M
usic: ITs about finding a place to practice; its all very hard! so much abandonment issues and PTSD problems associated with this. As a child, I expected people to help me from the beginning; I thought I was loved. I was not loved by anyone! I was abruptly abandon and never thought of again; its that simple.... So, I'm full of hate and remorse, and Im attempting to get better to deal with the outside world again! its all very hard to do! I have nothing but pain associated with all of this; Its horrible. I pray things can be taken care of! I pray all the things I need to work on can be worked on!

I thought I had present friends. I do not! I have acquaintances that are nice; I mean very little to them except what they can get off of me! and my picker is broken and I get used and manipulated very easily. I feel at times people are playing me just to see if I can be played. Under the smiles are contempt!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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