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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1007)
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- August 2019
I letting socioapths attack me again; abuse me; feel demoralized
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 11:23 am
Mellowing; and idea of exploring the entrances to the gap...
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 1:20 am
A house and a backyard and 4 walls and a hobby
   Sun Aug 18, 2019 1:09 am
moving into know mans land (positive); and then through
   Fri Aug 16, 2019 9:41 pm
The Gap
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 8:37 pm
Teenage years
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:25 am
finding and painting rocks
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 5:14 pm
Expressing my feelings
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 3:26 pm
I know Ive never met any women to date ever....
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 11:02 am
Being alone all of my life with out women or a relationship
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:16 am
The wright brothers created plaines; Im creating my new life
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 8:41 am
A new era is starting; But Ive got problems
   Mon Aug 12, 2019 12:19 pm
Signs of the end is here; and a new era starting
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 6:13 pm
Trapped between 2 worlds
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 3:23 pm
Things are getting better; Im still fat; I got a problem
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 11:38 pm
Women have defeated me? and I feel deated? #1
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 6:45 am
Plans from the universe; they have cometh
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:39 pm
breaking things and coming together
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 11:44 am
What am I thinking about
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:16 am
That breaking point
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 8:45 pm
Needing my mothers permission
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:47 pm
And another day
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:03 pm
Im so right in the middle of the promises
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 4:35 pm
whats missing with music; live playing
   Mon Aug 05, 2019 11:22 pm
Women and John Denver
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 11:33 pm
Bulling
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 1:33 am
art images coming back and other things; taking action
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:35 pm
I wasn't suppose to break the my first girls heart....
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 12:47 pm
Take my mother out of the picture; what do I get.
   Fri Aug 02, 2019 11:47 pm
Where am at right now.
   Thu Aug 01, 2019 11:30 am

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dealing with life from zero to 18

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Mon Jun 10, 2019 8:13 pm

Im attempting to learn how to deal with life from 0-18.
I was accosted and used and exploited nad thrown away from 0-18, and Im trying to figure out now; as an adult; what escape routs I could have taken to get out of those situations; when I was 8 or 9 to 13; no escape; I was thrown away in the 5th grade; sold down the river in the 6th grade; and ended up living; or having to live with a relative; but they were no relatives; they were monsters and I was no better then a foster kid; and so I want to know how to work through the terror and find an escape rout out of their. some place safe; ending up some place safe; that I dont have to deal with stark reality or violence to survive at such a young age from being un taken care of and thrown away.
.
Most of my life was thrown away; and I was in shock the first time it happened; and I never got over it; and life was brutal and I went into a mental cocoon I never came out of; I had no place and no one to talk to; nothing; no one cared about me; it was all fake; some people tried to act like it; but they didnt care; and never would again; I was just being used by people as a fool; and I would like to get these feelings out and come back to sanity and move on with my life; taking care of it; feeling that I took care of it; finding ways to take care of back then; finding escape routs back then; reframing the situations; showing I escaped and ended up some place safe; got my bearings about me; went back to school protected from bullies; did solid in school; got a job or hobbies or stuff for a career; and took off from their; possibly a real foster home with nice people to live with; or A Grandfather on my fathers side; I never tried to interact with them for help. Something; anything; Im looking at it right now and freaking out as I dont know where to hide where to go; who to talk to for help; Im stuck at those ages with no way out.
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I would like a career now and Im finding that until I fix the anxiety of 0-18 and figure out how to be solid from those years; I cant move on to college years; Im much older then college age; but Im trying to make it through those years from 0-18 and move onward; I can feel it; thats what needs to be done; answers to those time periods of loss where Im thrown away and isolated and I dont know what to do; and I dont know what to do right now to feel that I transferred to new safe places and got my life together. Im looking for reframing answers to a new outlook of my old life; all of it.

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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