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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (961)
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- July 2019
Star trek
   Tue Jul 23, 2019 6:04 am
Writing new stories and meeting new people
   Mon Jul 22, 2019 9:25 pm
Can I love a women
   Mon Jul 22, 2019 3:44 pm
Never being loved
   Mon Jul 22, 2019 1:12 pm
High School
   Mon Jul 22, 2019 3:54 am
Things continue to change
   Sun Jul 21, 2019 10:53 pm
the strange world of getting better did
   Sun Jul 21, 2019 4:36 pm
This is not going to be easy.
   Sun Jul 21, 2019 10:47 am
Identity 101; so; it officinally begins; the rebuilding
   Sun Jul 21, 2019 2:25 am
Something positive is happening
   Sat Jul 20, 2019 11:54 pm
The Beatles
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A place exists
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 11:21 pm
Things are changing again
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 3:41 pm
Things are heating up; Im now backing down
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 9:06 am
I have CPTSD
   Wed Jul 17, 2019 4:47 pm
Real changes are occurring
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 10:46 am
Coming back into the present
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 2:32 am
Im extremely frustrated
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 11:14 pm
Fining myself or facing myself
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 8:39 pm
Im beginning to understand
   Sun Jul 14, 2019 3:30 pm
Visualizing
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 8:28 pm
Starting from the beginning
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:35 pm
The trap house part 2
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:13 pm
The trap house; I only knew about; In the end I win
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 1:15 am
Massive Mega paradigm shift
   Thu Jul 11, 2019 3:01 pm
First post recovery conversation
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 9:55 pm
Dating and Art
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 4:44 pm
movement
   Tue Jul 09, 2019 5:56 pm
childhood abandonment
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:23 pm
Being single
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:53 am
Preview: PTSD; High School
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 10:31 pm
Fear
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 4:34 pm
Ive found some answers
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:41 pm
D.I.D; let me introduce myself
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:23 pm
PTSD; dealing with triggers.
   Fri Jul 05, 2019 5:32 am
Making me into a loser; its all about the critical voice
   Thu Jul 04, 2019 6:08 pm
Molding sound like clay; having reasons; Things are changing
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 4:25 pm
critical voice
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 6:38 am
Toxic shame
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 11:05 pm
Ive found some answers
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 7:59 am

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Dealing with a realistic past

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sun Aug 23, 2015 4:20 pm

I had no real past! The women figure in this family system was a psychopath! I was first aware of this at age 3 1/2! That was my biggest concern!

Im mad that this individual had the right to continually be exposed to children!

Because I am aware of what this individual is; all memories of this person, need to be reworked to see her for what she truly is!

Why would I hang on to this women as a mother figure! This is not a mother; this is a sadistic sociopath and nothing more!

I must get to a point that I see this monster; this monstrosity for what it is! I must get to a point that I let go of all things from this family system and the past!

I had wonderful intentions; and possibly, those intentions can come true in the future or the present; but not with this old family system or its surroundings! It must all be done away with!

Unfortunately I was a child who was taken advantage of!

If the occupants are psychopaths/sociopath! You're not going to have a future with them!

They will kill everything; they will steal everything! You will get nothing! Don't expect to get anything! Go outside this system and get help! And then depart from them! Its horrible, all of this; it must be done!

I will get help, and get out, and start again!; it's a sinking raft! And I was sinking on it!

Im mad; but I seem to have a problem; Im trying to make sociopaths into real people! They are not real people, they are sociopaths! All of them!

Sociopaths cannot have relationships with other people! They are incapable of such human things!

If the people I was surrounded by in my childhood were sociopaths; I will not have a relationship with them! And they are not interested in me or my talents or my future! They do not care who I am! Do not care if they ever see me again!! They are worthless scumbags! Nothing more!

They are worthless scumbags, nothing more!

I get mad that my brother stole from me! Stole me blind! I am quit wrong! This is a sociopath! He was never a brother! Thats where Im making a mistake!

IT is very hard to allow myself to see this person for the stranger that he is! All of my interactions with him are fake or false; meaning; He was never who I thought he was! He was a sociopath; I make him out to be a human-being with a personality and personal position in my life! There was no such an animal! This person is a sociopath; they are a complete strangers and always were!



I have never had relatives or brothers or mother n father, or sisters; anyone! ITs all a lie! And I must start the process to see this animals for what they were, and get out of there!

From the very beginning, I could see what they were really like; but I did not understand the consequences! They were the equivalent of murder;s, rapists and thieves! I did not know this; or what it meant!

I must go back into my past and pull back all the goodness I was to give out; save it; bringing it to the present and use it on worthy people! However, I must purge myself from the past! See it for what it really was!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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