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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1025)
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- November 2019
Social skills improving
   Thu Nov 07, 2019 12:51 am
My goal is to work through adolescence.
   Fri Nov 01, 2019 9:16 pm

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Dating

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Mon Aug 22, 2016 12:18 am

Im partial to asian women! The reason is this soulmate search! This went on for a year! I worked through 7000 pics of women; they all turned Asian within a short time; Of what I was looking for!

I ended up with one general picture that suggested an Asian girlfriend! Extremely! One pic that suggested an Asian guide; a women I could learn from; learn from her website! I did! I learned many things! This took about a year!

Now, 9 months later! Ive worked with the Laws of attraction to manifest a general image of an Asian soulmate! And things are rolling along fine! The work Im doing with success based thinking is changing everything about me! I'm learning that negative thinking hurts! Positive thinking does not hurt!

Im finally filled up enough to concentrate on the outside world! I was abused and thrown away when young! Im finally accepting it and moving on from it! Ive done a great amount of work surrounding it! Ive had great amounts of amnesia! God is working through it! As I come back to life; my interactions with women are picking up!

What do I do; Do I take out millions of women and act like Im interested in them when Im not! I feel like my soulmate is going to be Asian! I know dating white women is not going anywhere! I know this! How can I have a conscious dating them or anyone else!

It takes a long time and allot of work to become the person Im looking at in others! Im attempting to catch up with myself! This will take time!

I need women to fulfill certain roles! Meaning; help roles!

I need women in nurturing and developmental roles; they are to help me develop!

I like women that are submissive! However, most of the women Ive met that like me; submit to me naturally! The others are a joke! Or, not for me!

My emotions are moving or focusing away from the past into the present; I want this to go soothingly and I need help!

Im attempting to come back into the land of the living and live again with the surroundings! In order for this to happen; Ill need help! It starts with God!

Im moving from the inside world to the outside world; from the outside world; Im letting it into my inside world! This means Im facing forward! This means my focus is on where I will get my needs and excitement from; the present; those things that are occurring in front of me! This is a good sign, Im no longer interested in the past; this is a good sign that many things have healed up enough for me to walk on!

Now, Im in that transition! Its that place like a boat on a river! Im learning for the first time, how to cross the river! And Im learning the pain of the past and present! I don't want to be crushed at this developmental imposition! Taking my first steps on land after the boats land; this will be a major move! Its scary! This is where I was neglected in the past! And I must real feel it and now Im safe to move forward!

I have re experience the shock! See it! Know Im safe! Accept it! What happen; in human! In credible! Psychopaths!

Im learning that I rebuild what I wanted for my life! Im getting the outside help I need! Its sad! No one took care of me! I was thrown away from birth in many ways and didn't know it until later childhood! It was all exploitation!

Now, Im getting help to rebuild my completely life! And Im doing this without anyone from my past!

I have massive help! No one does things alone! It takes a meeting full of people as a support group to keep me going every day! IVe Got God! Things are working out for me!

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Dating; I don't know! If I go out with someone; what if they are the wrong person!

Ive had a giant soul search soulmate thing done! All Asian women! What am I supposed to do with this!
Do I wait! What do I do!

Do I find women I want to date and tell them theirs no future between us! Friends with benefits; that don't sound right unless its with the right people!~

Wanna hang out!

I feel like I got to be with the right kind of girl! One that understands Im not quit ready for relationships! Im better!

Smart, intelligent would be nice! Extremely communicative would be nice!

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Going after my goals is not where Im at! Learning to create them; hang on to them; get the negative out of them! Stay with them; this is what Im learning! And Im doing OK!

Why not create a list of what I want in a women and go after it! Because I need some real world experience!

I do not think Im going to stay with the women I date; but the women I date are fine women for anyone!
I wont use people! This means, leading them on into something I did not tell them about!

Im not going to suggest to that that Im using them and if they don't want to play along, they don't have to; this is not me! I don't operate like this!

Some might say; wait; don't go out with anyone until you find your soulmate! Its think its important for me to date people to get more experience!

It keeps going around n round n round in circles!

I do not know any women that fit the category of soulmate! Not yet! It is my future plan! When Im able to actually go after my goals! When they have aligned; then maybe! But that might be in a bit of time! Nothing soon! I don't know!


Time to start reading up about dating!

Something else! The people Im around! They are nice! And I like someone of the women! But I can get better! What does this mean! It means what it means! I could be with much hotter and much better women! More developed socially and intellectually; artistically! This does not mean the women I know are not desirable; they are! But there is a compromise! Somethings missing!

Ive always felt something was missing in me because of my lack of work! I could not work or function! I used this against myself! Never allowed myself to date anyone! I was to lowly on the shelf for that!

I felt horrible about my self! I was not able to be part of this situation! I did not feel I could be part of any situation!

I knew my worth! But had no moving power in society! I had nothing! Why would I care about friendships or anything else with people! I had nothing!

I would be judged to death by everyone! Thats the way it looked! Thats why I never dealt with people! I did not want to be judged by anyone!

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As for dating people! I guess the women I want to date are high maintenance or really good looking or something like this! I can and have attracted them! But thats not the problem! I don't have anything! Thats the problem!

Im afraid I wont attract people that appreciate me! I guess I want all of it! I want a women that is good looking, nice body, intelligent and has depth to understand my situation! And is of an Asian background! I guess!

What about before I find her! What then!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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