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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (947)
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- July 2019
Real changes are occurring
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 10:46 am
Coming back into the present
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 2:32 am
Im extremely frustrated
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 11:14 pm
Fining myself or facing myself
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 8:39 pm
Im beginning to understand
   Sun Jul 14, 2019 3:30 pm
Visualizing
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 8:28 pm
Starting from the beginning
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:35 pm
The trap house part 2
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:13 pm
The trap house; I only knew about; In the end I win
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 1:15 am
Massive Mega paradigm shift
   Thu Jul 11, 2019 3:01 pm
First post recovery conversation
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 9:55 pm
Dating and Art
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 4:44 pm
movement
   Tue Jul 09, 2019 5:56 pm
childhood abandonment
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:23 pm
Being single
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:53 am
Preview: PTSD; High School
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 10:31 pm
Fear
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 4:34 pm
Ive found some answers
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:41 pm
D.I.D; let me introduce myself
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:23 pm
PTSD; dealing with triggers.
   Fri Jul 05, 2019 5:32 am
Making me into a loser; its all about the critical voice
   Thu Jul 04, 2019 6:08 pm
Molding sound like clay; having reasons; Things are changing
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 4:25 pm
critical voice
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 6:38 am
Toxic shame
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 11:05 pm
Ive found some answers
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 7:59 am

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Dating 2

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sat Aug 27, 2016 3:05 pm

I could or should write the rest of the blogs about women! Why? I didn't realize; I have no development with women! no wonder their have been such problems!

I had no mother; the monster playing this role was a sadistic psychopath! My father kept this thing inline away from me most of the time! but not all the time! and that was for a 5 year period!

No development with women when young; nothing!

later, Im thrown away at the age of 9! So, all things stop at age 9! I go into a state of freeze trauma! all of my rockets of desire up to this point or erased! for I am erased! all dreams and desires are erased! no development! Possibly at the age of 15, their is an attempt! it lasts a few months then goes no where! Im still shy and withdrawn and getting no where!

No, as I come out of dissociative disorder! Ive got a very large problem with women! Their is no manageable system for dealing with them in my life!

Dating, talking, flirting, love making, making out! any form of relationship! Nothing!

The problem is; Im now addressing this giant void! It starts with the ability to feel comfortable with myself around women as I get close to them! Sitting next to them makes me nervous! Im like a scared little kid!

So, Ive started talking more n more about it and them at meetings! The idea is to loose fear of them!

The idea is; I walk up to them and start talking to them! its as simple as this! I have to take chances and learn the art of such things! be confident!

I want to spend my time around women! its an area of no management! Its a large field of unknowns and no development !

I watch porn but want go out with real women! would I rather have a real women in my bed or porn!

I would like women I trust! women that want the best for me! or, I would like to be less needy!

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I got to practice! this means, not be effected by the women's looks! its about as simple as this! a women's looks create a fantasy in a man! and he does not think he's worthy of that fantasy! it stays in his head and he thinks it should stay in his head! he's not worthy of having the real thing!

So, a man of low self esteem, he must work at it!

By the time I muster the courage to be a round someone; that person has been nabbed up by an alfa male! However, I always get the impression the girl thinks Im an alfa male of a different type! and Im not''

I can get scared to death that the girl is going to find out Im not the dream they thought I was! and this hurts way to much!

I would like to get over all of this! and I suppose with more experience, I will!

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Im getting older and my time is running out! Yet, the most important things to my life are the same ones I had as a kid! to be notice and to find love, to be admired!

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The key to being around women is to let your feelings out when your around them, even tho they are beautiful to you! The girls Im attracted to; the ones I think are hot; those are the ones I will ask out! but I have not felt worthy of them! not good enough for a dream! not good enough!

Im not asking for what I want!
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The most important issue is to expose all these secrets!

What do I have to offer people; imagine first that Im giving them something! and that something is putting a smile on thier face! Many times I had no idea what I was giving them!

Now, I use my imagination! and I ask the question; what do I give them! And imagine I walk up to them and give it to them!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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