My mind is split between to different time zones; first, present host! ME! And ME is now. Second personality is child at 8 years old.
This split is present all the time. One melds into the other in the present. present information goes through both personalities... and I process through both time zones...
This can make things exceptionally confusing. I don't switch out to one or the other, they are both present in different positions! a dual mind core! I have 2 personalities open at once occupying different spaces within my brain... I have other alters!
IF the child personality did not know or was told it was not 1970; it would be to much trauma and I would die. This child is fine, thinks everything is fine, has a full set of memory histories. In reality these histories were destroyed a few years later! This human was erased...
Its hard; Its hard to make decisions when you have 2 people in the same mind countering each other all the time.
The adult wants to be independent; the child wants to flirt and wants my mother and father. When I met someone knew I do not know what will take over! then I have to fix what ever social mess the child has made of things. The child hit n runs believing he can run home! and he believes a home is waiting and nothing has changed...
Im trying to grow the child from the past into the present...
The adult wants piece, the child wants to fight!
The adult wants this child brought to the present that I process information and be present.
The world does not understand; Ive tried to tell them; they see only through there own eyes....
My condition is hard and unprotected. its all very hard and confusing. Cognitive war!