Our partner

User avatar
OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1013)
Archives
- September 2019
One off the more nasty brutal parts of healing
   Fri Sep 13, 2019 4:52 pm
Today
   Thu Sep 12, 2019 6:22 am
More notes
   Tue Sep 03, 2019 4:33 am

+ August 2019
+ July 2019
+ June 2019
+ May 2019
+ April 2019
+ March 2019
+ February 2019
+ January 2019
+ December 2018
+ November 2018
+ October 2018
+ September 2018
+ August 2018
+ July 2018
+ June 2018
+ May 2018
+ April 2018
+ March 2018
+ February 2018
+ January 2018
+ December 2017
+ November 2017
+ October 2017
+ September 2017
+ August 2017
+ July 2017
+ June 2017
+ May 2017
+ April 2017
+ March 2017
+ February 2017
+ January 2017
+ December 2016
+ November 2016
+ September 2016
+ August 2016
+ July 2016
+ June 2016
+ May 2016
+ April 2016
+ March 2016
+ February 2016
+ January 2016
+ December 2015
+ November 2015
+ October 2015
+ September 2015
+ August 2015
+ April 2015
+ March 2015
+ February 2015
+ January 2015
+ December 2014
+ November 2014
+ October 2014
+ September 2014
+ August 2014
+ July 2014
+ June 2014
+ May 2014
+ April 2014
+ March 2014
+ February 2014
+ January 2014
+ December 2013
+ November 2013
+ October 2013
+ September 2013
+ August 2013
+ July 2013
+ June 2013
+ May 2013
+ April 2013
+ March 2013
+ February 2013
+ January 2013
+ December 2012
+ November 2012
+ October 2012
+ September 2012
+ August 2012
+ July 2012
+ June 2012
+ May 2012
+ April 2012
+ March 2012
+ February 2012
+ January 2012
+ December 2011
+ November 2011
Search Blogs

Cross roads

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Thu Mar 27, 2014 9:53 pm

Im always at that cross roads. I refuse to get into relationships; I have to much contempt for the idiots that want to love me! I think they are brain dead and stupid f@cks. And thats one idea.

They assume after a short amount of time; Im a loser! Thats what happens when Im dealing with shallow people!

Im not a loser, but no one else cares, they make things up! f#cking retards.

Im dealing with allot of predators that get into my space! con artists; 2 faced, deceptive! or punks that need to be taken down! Either way I have to learn to get away from them. I can't control them or the envernment! Getting into it with them is a waist. You become their captor at that point! Its not worth my time! I have to learn to move around them or away from them; something like that!

Im weak and give into them! I don't stand up for myself and tell them to get lost! stay away from em and don't talk to me anymore. The best I can do is ignore them... Some are good. They seem to think they are undetected. They are completely open and relaxed around me! its all contempt and arrogance!

Some of them are simply ######6 evil and not worth much more! They think they have it going on! its horrible and horrifying.

I need more work to wake up. I can't let dumb-asses get in the way of my progress! I have to stay low key!

I am disappointed that no one can be trusted from the people I started out with! Not one; not really! well, a few are Ok. Most are not! They charm you! they are no good. They play you underhand behind your back!

The other; Im chicken; by the time I actually process that Im loved by someone Its to late. I wait and watch! This is what I find. The girl has moved on to someone else! And she has had him in mind if I didn't work out! F#ck both of them and all of them! I want nothing to do with these kind of people. Im a decent human being, not some f#cking scumbag...

I have a hard time standing up for myself; I can't fight back and defend myself! People get into my space and I get scared. Im freeze up and can't move. Predators see this and run with it!

Im a deep deep person! do they really think they can compete against me! I don't think so! Yet they try out of contempt!

I hate their f#cking guts... Scum bag b#tches... They are all b#tches... Everyones a bitch!




I have to find people that are not deceptive.

I blame myself for touring in the house of the vampire! female vampires fall in love with me, Only to find out Im not a vampire! When this happens, they go into a rage; find a big strong real male vampire from their clan and pass me off as a throw away! They feel victimized. I victimized them because I never told them I wasn't a vampire. I led them on ( sorry for being a decent human being). I was one of those sickos that believe in God and the light! I do not believe in worshiping evil! and I do not believe in believing in evil! Im not God, and neither are you!

And I am a big fool and a hypocrite!

Im so 2 faced, and I do not know what to do about it, except keep working on it until I can separate the 2 views and see which I will stand for!

I have to keep working through my recovery! I have to learn to stay away from trouble!

Im just trying to wake up! ITs very hard!

------------

In the meetings; its extremely important that I have space around me! no one sitting by me! and its important that I have anonymity. I want people away from me, not talking to me! only choice friends.

I have to learn to walk away from people that don't value me! Others have walked away from me; they didn't value me!

People in the meetings don't value me! no one does.

I have to keep trusting God!

I need to think someone values me!

------------

The point of this blog; others are taking advantage of me and I do not know how to fight back! Im not well enough to fight back! I have to stay away from them.

I have been conned by them. they say hello to me! they don't mean it. deep down they think Im a weakling they can take advantage of! And, Im starting to care. But Im not awake enough to do anything about it!

Im not sure what to do!

Im not awake enough yet! I have to learn to get away from these people, or walk away from them! This is going to take much work and patience!

I wish I had other places to go! possible, I need to start going other places. I will ask God about this!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
0 Comments Viewed 3176 times

Who is online

Registered users: Andreasgzs, Baidu [Spider], Bing [Bot], DaturaInnoxia, Google [Bot], Google Adsense [Bot], Google Feedfetcher, jj19, Johnny-Jack, justonemoreperson, KingPingX, LaughingCrow, LearningToo, Majestic-12 [Bot], MonikaMox, morbid3, Philonoe