Our partner

User avatar
OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1052
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1751)
Archives
- March 2024
A gift from God #2
   Sat Mar 16, 2024 9:21 pm
The Gift from God…
   Tue Mar 12, 2024 5:29 pm
2 goals; elements of accomplishment
   Tue Mar 12, 2024 1:41 pm
Work Ethic is Needed Please
   Tue Mar 12, 2024 4:46 am
Some Solutions; Lot of Hope
   Thu Mar 07, 2024 5:39 am

+ February 2024
+ January 2024
+ December 2023
+ November 2023
+ October 2023
+ September 2023
+ August 2023
+ July 2023
+ June 2023
+ May 2023
+ April 2023
+ March 2023
+ February 2023
+ January 2023
+ December 2022
+ November 2022
+ October 2022
+ September 2022
+ August 2022
+ July 2022
+ June 2022
+ May 2022
+ April 2022
+ March 2022
+ February 2022
+ January 2022
+ December 2021
+ November 2021
+ October 2021
+ September 2021
+ August 2021
+ July 2021
+ June 2021
+ May 2021
+ April 2021
+ March 2021
+ February 2021
+ January 2021
+ December 2020
+ November 2020
+ October 2020
+ September 2020
+ August 2020
+ July 2020
+ June 2020
+ May 2020
+ April 2020
+ March 2020
+ February 2020
+ January 2020
+ December 2019
+ November 2019
+ October 2019
+ September 2019
+ August 2019
+ July 2019
+ June 2019
+ May 2019
+ April 2019
+ March 2019
+ February 2019
+ January 2019
+ December 2018
+ November 2018
+ October 2018
+ September 2018
+ August 2018
+ July 2018
+ June 2018
+ May 2018
+ April 2018
+ March 2018
+ February 2018
+ January 2018
+ December 2017
+ November 2017
+ October 2017
+ September 2017
+ August 2017
+ July 2017
+ June 2017
+ May 2017
+ April 2017
+ March 2017
+ February 2017
+ January 2017
+ December 2016
+ November 2016
+ September 2016
+ August 2016
+ July 2016
+ June 2016
+ May 2016
+ April 2016
+ March 2016
+ February 2016
+ January 2016
+ December 2015
+ November 2015
+ October 2015
+ September 2015
+ August 2015
+ April 2015
+ March 2015
+ February 2015
+ January 2015
+ December 2014
+ November 2014
+ October 2014
+ September 2014
+ August 2014
+ July 2014
+ June 2014
+ May 2014
+ April 2014
+ March 2014
+ February 2014
+ January 2014
+ December 2013
+ November 2013
+ October 2013
+ September 2013
+ August 2013
+ July 2013
+ June 2013
+ May 2013
+ April 2013
+ March 2013
+ February 2013
+ January 2013
+ December 2012
+ November 2012
+ October 2012
+ September 2012
+ August 2012
+ July 2012
+ June 2012
+ May 2012
+ April 2012
+ March 2012
+ February 2012
+ January 2012
+ December 2011
+ November 2011
Search Blogs

Connecting to things in the real world

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Mon Jun 10, 2019 11:53 am

My goal is to connect to knew things in the real world.
.
Ive lived in a dissociative protective shell or state or cocoon; of course its like being in a coffin; so life will be short for many; who can take the torture of such things; However, Im working myself out of it; or have been for a while now.
.
My goal is to imagine myself connecting to the right people and places and things in the outer world; what do I want.
.
Problems;
of course; what do I want; I want to go back home where I had friends and a life and start over from their; in a protected environment; The problem; by taking an inventory of my past; it is revealed; I had no safe life or any friends; they were fair weather friends associated with the neighborhood I lived in; if I know longer live in that neighborhood; they are no longer my friends; and come to find out; their never were; but I didn't need to know that at the time; it didn't matter; I was 2 young to care; now I know better. but I could not have known better then.
.
I was never in protected environments; and I know that now; and realize that now; building dreams in the beginning of my life was a mistake; I needed to get out of the environment I was in but didn't know it; I was 2 young to know.
.
Now I know better; so Im on a path to learn how to reconnect to the world around me. In many cases of the past; this was impossible; I had been pulled out of all safety areas into bad areas and was in a state of shock with nowhere to go and no connections; nothing; lost and alone. No one cared what happened to me; no one cared about my life; it was all a came played by sociopaths and sick people who liked to abuse children and destroy others lives; sadistic.
.
So; the work is; Im to use my imagination and come up with the type of connections and life Im really interested in living; the real one aligned with my inner being; who am I, who was I suppose to be when I grew up; what was I suppose to do when I grew up; who was I suppose to hang out with; surround myself with; who? or what?

.
I was in a dream world when young; I saw others around me with money and I tried to hang around them as if I came from money; little did I know; i came from nothing; if i had known this; I could have been working on a solution very young; but I did not know this; and I had no idea I was going to be destroyed and thrown away when very young; because at that point; I was stranded and damaged and could not function for myself. I did not know this was going to happen; but the psychopaths who did this; they knew all along from the beginning.
.
So; I have an idea of the goal; can it be done; its about my beliefs and my ability to create faith; it can be done; its going to be hard work.
.
When I have good intentions but deeper bad thoughts; I get what I attract. So; I have to hang on and keep trying.
.
What do I really like or what kind of environments do I really like and what kind do I not like; thats what I have to find out.
.
I have to learn to take this seriously and not dwell on he negative; but look only at the positive; and thats is the challenge and the goal; change a PTSD based mind; but it can be done.
.
Something else I would say; I have to allow the humans I meet; give them a break; I doubt Im going to find the right people all at once; Ive been through this before; thinking ive found nice people; in the end; they had no interest in me or were not interested in giving me attention unless they were getting something in return; a chunk of me; and Im not for sale.
.
So; I have much to learn. Im not from a middle class money based situation; this scares me; but Ill have to learn.
.
I have to take chances and weed through life a bit until I believe I can find what Im looking for; I might have to go through a lot of judgment from immature spoiled people until I find what really turns me on. My right direction.

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
0 Comments Viewed 7376 times

Who is online

Registered users: Bing [Bot], Google [Bot], Google Feedfetcher, krk1087, Majestic-12 [Bot]