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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1009)
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- August 2019
Finding my voice
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 4:47 pm
Three important conversations with women
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 1:39 am
I letting socioapths attack me again; abuse me; feel demoralized
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 11:23 am
Mellowing; and idea of exploring the entrances to the gap...
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 1:20 am
A house and a backyard and 4 walls and a hobby
   Sun Aug 18, 2019 1:09 am
moving into know mans land (positive); and then through
   Fri Aug 16, 2019 9:41 pm
The Gap
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 8:37 pm
Teenage years
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:25 am
finding and painting rocks
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 5:14 pm
Expressing my feelings
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 3:26 pm
I know Ive never met any women to date ever....
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 11:02 am
Being alone all of my life with out women or a relationship
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:16 am
The wright brothers created plaines; Im creating my new life
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 8:41 am
A new era is starting; But Ive got problems
   Mon Aug 12, 2019 12:19 pm
Signs of the end is here; and a new era starting
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 6:13 pm
Trapped between 2 worlds
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 3:23 pm
Things are getting better; Im still fat; I got a problem
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 11:38 pm
Women have defeated me? and I feel deated? #1
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 6:45 am
Plans from the universe; they have cometh
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:39 pm
breaking things and coming together
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 11:44 am
What am I thinking about
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:16 am
That breaking point
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 8:45 pm
Needing my mothers permission
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:47 pm
And another day
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:03 pm
Im so right in the middle of the promises
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 4:35 pm
whats missing with music; live playing
   Mon Aug 05, 2019 11:22 pm
Women and John Denver
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 11:33 pm
Bulling
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 1:33 am
art images coming back and other things; taking action
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:35 pm
I wasn't suppose to break the my first girls heart....
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 12:47 pm
Take my mother out of the picture; what do I get.
   Fri Aug 02, 2019 11:47 pm
Where am at right now.
   Thu Aug 01, 2019 11:30 am

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changing into a normal independent loving person!

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Fri Jun 10, 2016 3:35 pm

So, the change begins! It is not about revenge for the past! It is not about getting something from those who have taken it! It is about having no past! It is about looking around in the present; new! No one can owe me anything from the past, if there is no past and nothing to remember! If my thoughts-intent have no more interest in the past, and my thoughts are in the present and the creation of a new reality for myself; where are the resentments! I am not focusing on resentments, for there is no more past! The past is simply part of a memory system within my mind! And I must get rid of the memories that are causing the pain! These memories are defused through exposure therapy and other types of psych therapies! Soon, the memories are deflated and the fear created around these memories are exposed! Thus, these memories are just memories and nothing more! These memories are replaces with an interest in the present world! And how is this possible; first; I am not alone; I have a daily large support group system; this is number one; no one does anything alone! the superman nonsense is a myth! " Im superman, I can fly, and do anything I want or need to alone; and fix my life"! nonsense! Human beings have limits because they are human; they must work with a group of loving caring people in order to make changes!




I forgive all people, places and things! And before this I write and write and write and work out of a 12 step work book with a sponsor from an a credited 12 step group like AA or NA! I specifically like the NA work book for 12 step work! It is not the only book or group! Many 12 step groups these days! I work the 4th and 5th steps over n over until all resentments are laid-ta-rest!

Anyway, the future is about the Laws of Attraction! The movie ( the secret), and all the success coaches that teach such things! And I use many of them! And it's working for me to bring me back to a state of love, for myself, for others and for my surroundings!

God is number one in my life and directs everything; creates my path and directs me through it!

It's not easy, I have allot of horror that triggers from my past and shows up, and Im re traumatized! Its horrible, even to write about it! Write about how my life was destroyed and dismantled and be headed!

So, I still have much work to be done! However, Im working and practicing how to love everything! I love you, I love me, I love that brick, I love red, I love that blue, I love that flower, I love me, I love me, I love that building, I love that purple; and so on!

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The goal is to be brought into the present with no more codependency on past people, places and things, represented in thoughts; thoughts associated with pain and suffering; the feelings! I do not want or need to re feel horror and torture! Im not getting fed anymore; it's not working to be fed through negatives! I want to be fed through positives! I like the reward! I like it better then the false promises of negativity and the past!

The dreams and goals I have are in the future; I create my own reality in my imagination! Soul-mates, trucks, houses, art studio's,. New friends, Skiing, mountain biking trips! All these things are in the future! They are not in the past! I want and am learning to be exited about these things; these goals! Im doing the work that gives me confidence that I can have these things I want! Im learning how to believe I can have these things! The work is not creating what I want! It's believing they will show up! The work is in faith and belief! Thus, much work needs to be done, much visualization in first person of the future I want! And much re writing of my story; over, over n over; concerning my new life as if Im living it!

And all of this work is waking me up and teaching me how to interact with others! Its all about success!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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