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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1033
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (905)
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- June 2019
Social isolation; social uphill climb
   Thu Jun 20, 2019 2:25 am
Feeling better inside
   Wed Jun 19, 2019 11:28 pm
Money
   Wed Jun 19, 2019 11:38 am
An interest in the arts
   Tue Jun 18, 2019 9:39 am
Social
   Mon Jun 17, 2019 10:32 pm
intimacy 2
   Mon Jun 17, 2019 4:02 pm
intimacy
   Mon Jun 17, 2019 10:51 am
Identity overwhelmed
   Sun Jun 16, 2019 10:22 am
re changing the present
   Wed Jun 12, 2019 3:45 pm
Working out of it; the struggle continues
   Tue Jun 11, 2019 4:14 pm
A new segment of life
   Tue Jun 11, 2019 1:07 am
dealing with life from zero to 18
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 8:13 pm
Connecting to things in the real world
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 11:53 am
Things are changing
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 4:43 am
I have to believe more
   Sat Jun 08, 2019 10:24 pm
liking myself and dating
   Thu Jun 06, 2019 8:46 pm
Dissociation
   Thu Jun 06, 2019 4:58 pm
Love
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 11:05 pm
Purpose
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 7:27 pm
Happiness
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 11:04 am
bulling and meditation and connection and...
   Sun Jun 02, 2019 8:03 pm
Bulling and meditation and connection and...
   Sun Jun 02, 2019 5:57 am
Childhood reconnection;
   Sat Jun 01, 2019 4:26 pm

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change

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Thu Mar 07, 2019 11:33 pm

Change is upon me. I was crazy and disabled. I'm still disabled. but not so much pain. I'm still dysfunctional; I can't remember who I am; it's like I'm a giant novocaine bottle. I'm not in so much pain.
It's hard to break into self. I'm slowly getting there. the problem is; when I attempt to think about a positive outcome; my mind switched; dissociated into a horrible negative fear-based open terror thoughts. The goal is to get my thinking back; controlled. I dissociated and am mentally disabled. I can't get into myself. My mind switches whenever I attempt to get close, but at least I'm talking about it.
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ITs no game; My nervous system as I'm writing this is watching; I won't allow doing much more before switching. the past is a horrible nightmare I could not handle, and my nervous system doesn't want me dying again. It protects the whole system by switching and not allowing me to re-experience anything.
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I'm OK, but I'm in trouble. Id likes to know how to get back to where I was as a child. Meaning, independent on track. I'm not sure how that can happen; it's too much bad information coming in from the battle lines of the past; it knocks me out; and generally, my nervous system won't allow me to go there. I have to go there to get back my personal power.
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The goal is goals; the incentive is success based thinking. My goal is to know the goal; what goals do I work on now that will get me back to what I'm supposed to be when I grow up.

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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