Im starting to move forward; a bit upward in my recovery life! Many people did not understand me; now, no one does! very few! I dont explain myself to people! On Facebook; I write allot of " fear of women blogs" hundreds of them; I go into every detail! Its helping me a great deal! is it helping me describe what Im afraid of; no! What Im afraid of is re entering society! Im looking to tighten the gap between the emotional level of hurt I was exposed to when young, and the real world now! By writing, Im filling in the gap; I'm learning to loose fear of what Im afraid of! Most dont understand! However, in 6 months, Ill be further then they will ever dream of! I do what I have to and do not explain myself!
Fear of women; You you've to take chances! confidence! However, theirs another area of interest; who! and where do they hang out! meaning! the women Im interested in; I have this feeling they are smarter and intellectual introverts; And Im starting to have to accept this fact! regular women are not doing it for me! something is missing! Conversation is everything for me! conversation and how a women handles it; this determines if I want to spend more time with her or not!
Judging; I find many women judge! and Im not into being judged incorrectly! One cannot be popular all the time! The point is I probably dont have friends; to many of them in meetings; I do! some! Many are not my friends; Im their for deeper psych reasons then just addictions! and I dont care how anyone feels about it! I say what I have to say, day after day!
Isolation; Im slowly working my way out of it; Im working with God and the LOA and slowly working my way towards people again! meeting new people as the Universe shifts in my direction!
A Gap resides in my personal life between when I was a child and now! and allot of area needs to be filled in; Im trying to fill it in with Gods help! Others do not know what Im doing; they think Im crazy!
Im trying to learn not to care what others think! What others think seems to be more important to me then what I think about myself!
The goal is to slow down on meetings and get a life! Ive spent 20s of my life round these meetings! Im now starting to get better!