| Psychology and Mental Health Forum | |
https://www.psychforums.com/blog/OMNICELL/cant_feel_anything_b-12527_sid-f671e1b11d527f7cc4edcc3072dee097.html |
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| Author: | OMNICELL [ Tue Oct 23, 2018 9:24 pm ] |
| Blog Subject: | Cant feel anything |
Im blanked out! cant feel anything; dissociative! I remember a mother that was a psychopath! I had no mother! could not develop a relationship; nothing ever existed! Thought as a small child; I would develop a beautiful love relationship with my mother and she would love me and see me through my young life! I had nothing! instead; nothing and then my full life being erased by the time I was 10; thrown away! all lost; everything from before that time period! no more house, no more neighborhood! no more relatives! nothing! . Cant feel anything! I want to love a mother; get love; give love like normal person! . Wanting normal relationships; ending up with similar psychopathic relations to my mother; they end in catastrophe! . . Most of the women Ive taken an interest in are sociopaths; predators who hate men; see men as inferior! The small child in me is attracted to sociopathic predator women; The adult in me is not! . I do not see the sociopathic women as sociopathic to start with; she seems to me like a mother! Im going to have a relationship with her and save her and love her the way my mother needed to be loved; Im going to love my mother; save my mother the way a good boy should! . The child does not see these women as sociopaths! The adult in me sees it soon enough! However, by the time I fuse both parts of my personality; Ive already been used and manipulated and thrown away! . Many times these type of women have a man in waiting! they have a boyfriend; they see the innocent child in me, they deceive this child manipulate him, groom him into believing they are interested in me and single! Soon, the truth comes forth! I was used and tortured by the event! . The point is; Im being tortured every time I get involved with one of these monsters! . The goal is to learn to love again; give love; feel self love, receive love from a normal women; learn how! learn who! . I dont want to be Captain save a Ho; not anymore! I dont know any different! . I have to learn how to love again and receive love! I have to have my feelings back! Im working on it! ate feel safe to love and feel free again! |
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