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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
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bulling

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sat Dec 28, 2019 7:46 am

Bulling has to be dealt with; it starts in the beginning of my life and works through every age of my life into some unbelievable situations where I was smeared; demoralized; used, controlled, captured and ruined over n over n over again with out protecting myself or knowing how to fight back; I just stood their frozen as my life was being ruined through abuse... And this packed up over n over n over with no way out.... I was in complete shock and I was being ruined and could do nothing about it.
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Im not sure how to proceed; EmDR; I'll online it because I can do it myself.... and do more of it; but still. I can hardly ask anyone out; I can't tolerate anyone for any reason for anything; nothing...
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Its destroyed my love life my dating life; my everything. Bulling has destroyed everything; how do I start. Its more about politics and being abandon with no family and the actual bullies; the school system allowed this when the tax payer is paying for the schools; they don't pay for schools that wreck their children; all of this is corrupt; every inch of it. I seized up and could no longer function in the public school systems; I could never function in them from the Beginning; but add the fact that my physical rights are taken away from me from thugs and sociopaths in the schools and they can use violence against anyone they want any time they want....
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I'll have to get started some how; I don't know how. I could never defend myself; I refused or I would have killed them. This is political in my opinion not physical.. This is more bout the state I live in then the bullies; for the bullies are representatives of the laws that allow it; the corrupt state allows it. The answer is war. But war is a waist of time for me; my higher power is not asking me to go in that direction nor was God asking me in that direction when I was young....... but I was forced; it was forced down my throat; now what....
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So; I have allot of things to work on and I don't know where to start; I have to start with meditation and God and the universe and writing and EmDR. I guess... Its a closed world; what happened to me; it must be opened and the fear and sadness and horror let out....
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Im not sure... I'll have to work on it or with it....
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Im not sure what else to say accept I was betrayed by everyone and everything at that time...

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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