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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
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- November 2019
Social skills improving
   Thu Nov 07, 2019 12:51 am
My goal is to work through adolescence.
   Fri Nov 01, 2019 9:16 pm

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Bulling and Asian-soulmate

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Thu Nov 23, 2017 6:05 pm

Im dealing with bulling again. Bullies arn't smart people! They dont think about the consequences; they seek power; outside power at the expense of the victim! They feel nothing for the victim; They see the victim as a 2 dimensional object; nothing more! They don't care who or what it is; its simply something to beat up on! They see it as a boxing bag; thats how they see the victim; they have fear and aggression and use it against a victim to socially better themselves; become more popular! Im afraid Im caught up in it again in several areas!
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I was warned by God; by source energy to leave a few places; I did not want to! I had it made, I just needed to put in my time; but it has been ruined by these people! I don't respond to them; they are stupid; I will end up in D.O.C.! Thats what you get when you intermingle with this filth! They are trouble; sociopaths! So, nothing will ever change; their predator nature will continue; you end up having to go to them to stop it; this puts them in control; you are answering to them! If you don't like it! you go to the cops; But now, your rapped in the sociopaths world taking responsibility for them and what they do in society! so, you cant win; the best thing; leave and never go back!
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The sociopaths I met, some in recovery, try to gang up next to you and get to know you; play you and own you; and they will do this in public places. They think their taking you over! They think this is 8th grade junior high school; they have no concept of adults! adult world!
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Its a war! unfortunately when your in the middle of the system; you got your hands tied! Im a grown man dealing with bulling issues and long term PTSD, I don't have time for this! The only thing you can do is leave! Im not a parol officer for people like this! they know; I know what they are and they get a tendency to be in my face and try to shut me down through intimidation so they can continue to live out their fantasy of freely controlling the environment! its inconvenient for me! Ive dealt with sociopaths for a long time; I know how they operate! They are arrogant and stupid and don't think first when they act! They just take over other human beings if they think they can get away with it! Im not suggesting some psychopaths are not smart! Ive known some! they are planners! However, most of the bullies Ive met are bottom dwellers! At the tar end of the barrel.
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They will challenge me because they are stupid! threatening them is stupid; their are smart enough to understand a real threat! They only learn through force; or violence or being restrained in a cage./ Ultimately, you either get the cops involved or you take care of business yourself or you leave! Im going to leave! Its to bad, free lunch at some of these places! It was nice! not now! Im not a baby sister for sociopaths! especially dumb ones! Its a real hard deal; you have to leave and not go back!
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I was warned by God a while back to leave these places! I almost did, but I came back! So, I will go back to God for directions! what direction do I go in!
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The sociopath runs on the ability to use fear to intimidate! that is their hope! What they dont know; the normal person is not scared of them; the normal person is scared of the problems they are starting to create that will end up in a bigger set of problems for everyone! They are deliberately starting social fires that cant be put out! I will end up in front of the judge! Why bother with it, its not worth it!
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In the beginning;
Dealing with junior high bulling! When I was younger, 5th grade, 6th grade, 7th grade! I could not deal with it! actually, it started in 3rd grade! I could not deal with it! any of it! I never learned how! I was helpless and felt helpless; so, when Im getting bullied now, Im getting bullied when Im attempting to come out of my shell to work on bulling! the problem is; bullies move in and the area is not safe anymore! I back down to people now because of entanglement as an adult with the law; most bullies are to stupid to understand such things! When I back down, it appears Im scared of them or frightened of them; when they see this; they take more advantage, and it gets worse, it turns into a psycho game of control and intimidation! They are predators and think about such things! they see me as nothing; as an object they can play with; they see no value and have no feelings; and never will! Ever! They are not concerned about the consequences of ruining me or my life; they could care less; they see me as fun or sport!
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I personally dont care who these people are! the problem is; Im trying to work through my personal stuff and they are destroying the environment for such things; To bad! and Im blaming them, when in reality, it is the child in me trying to make unsafe places into safe places! I dont control what goes on in places! I need to be in control of what is going on to feel safe! For the most part, I felt safe because I felt in control! I felt it was safe place! but its not safe anymore! Now Im mad! I have to get up and move! and Im mad about it! nothing I can do!
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Im working on bulling issues from the past! so, I dont have the personal facilities within myself to deal with any bullies! Im a grown man and I would go to war on them and destroy them immediately, However, they have social security numbers tagged to their foreheads! They are owned by the state; if I touch what belongs to the state, I go to the state jails! One could say; why not do things underhanded?, under the table; Im not interested in being an outlaw right now! and Im not interested in the bullies enough to put out any effort! They are looking for contact; they are looking to cause problems with other people because they are being found out! I see them and know what they are! they have crossed personal lines because they think Im weak because I dont respond to them! in reality, Im not responding to them because of the district attorney's office would be breathing down my throat! I have no interest in bringing the judicial system into my life; certainly not over a few retard sociopaths! its not worth my time! In the end; one learns in this system; you have to walk away from the sociopath! Do not try to interact with them or work with them; do nothing! they are degenerates! worthless! waist of could space and time! They have no social rules or conscious!
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So, Im in urgent waters! I dont know what to do! or to do yet! Im in fear; the small child in me is being attacked; and Im not sure how to handle it!
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Asian-soulmate;
I need to get past the adolescence stage of my life; I have to learn how to protect the child that is in me! and right now; Im not doing a very good job of it! Im at a lose of knowledge! I want to move on; be nice to myself, but move on so I can meet women! Im interested in an Asian-soulmate! and it will not go away; ever! I dont know why, or what it means! the "energy me" from the universe wants an Asian girlfriend/wife! Im trying to catch up so I can meet her! Im attempting to work through the gap from where Im at now to where I want to be! and I want to have her in my arms! who is she! I have to come up to speed to find out!
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Its like this; Im like a child sitting in a room next to a computer screen who has this dream; Im 7 years old and I dream of driving up to the land of where my honey is; My Asian-soulmate, I get out of the car and we squeeze each other!
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So, In reality, Im a 3 year old that someone has to show how to change the TV channel! Im defenseless; and I'm dreaming of an Asian-soulmate! And I have no idea how to make a dream a reality! And I give up! But now, I dont want to give up anymore because its simply to painful! I would rather face the horrible things I need to face to get my life back then go back to a broken life! and Im trying to deal with the de humanization of the whole thing!
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Part of me is sophisticated; part of me is an 11 year old boy behind an xbox that has never left his room! Has no confidence in the outside world and is not strong enough to know of an outside world or want to know or handle such things!
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Fitting into the group as a follower and not a leader;
Im in follower mode; Now, when Im with a group of men; Im a follower on purpose; Im trying to learn! Im purposely in learning mode; Im simply trying to fit in with other men in a group! I have enough smarts; and more leadership qualities, but thats not why Im interacting with with them, its more social family! Im trying to fit in; be a brother within the tribe, learn to be smart, learn to be part of things; its emotional survival that Im looking for! or attempting to learn! and Im learning from the very beginning! a huge dichotomy exists here!
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The work is about trusting a higher power; source energy Jesus christ0- maxo-! Holy one!
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My work is with God; the lord!
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Im learning to trust God; that is what its all about! working with God, putting my focus on God and not worrying about the outside world or the outcome!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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