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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1031
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (902)
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- June 2019
An interest in the arts
   Tue Jun 18, 2019 9:39 am
Social
   Mon Jun 17, 2019 10:32 pm
intimacy 2
   Mon Jun 17, 2019 4:02 pm
intimacy
   Mon Jun 17, 2019 10:51 am
Identity overwhelmed
   Sun Jun 16, 2019 10:22 am
re changing the present
   Wed Jun 12, 2019 3:45 pm
Working out of it; the struggle continues
   Tue Jun 11, 2019 4:14 pm
A new segment of life
   Tue Jun 11, 2019 1:07 am
dealing with life from zero to 18
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 8:13 pm
Connecting to things in the real world
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 11:53 am
Things are changing
   Mon Jun 10, 2019 4:43 am
I have to believe more
   Sat Jun 08, 2019 10:24 pm
liking myself and dating
   Thu Jun 06, 2019 8:46 pm
Dissociation
   Thu Jun 06, 2019 4:58 pm
Love
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 11:05 pm
Purpose
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 7:27 pm
Happiness
   Tue Jun 04, 2019 11:04 am
bulling and meditation and connection and...
   Sun Jun 02, 2019 8:03 pm
Bulling and meditation and connection and...
   Sun Jun 02, 2019 5:57 am
Childhood reconnection;
   Sat Jun 01, 2019 4:26 pm

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blogs help!

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sun Aug 09, 2015 1:44 am

Im writing allot of blogs! thats good, I cant wait for it to pass! meaning, I get more stuff out and be less sick!
I have no friends; as usual; Im an intelligent person! Im never hooked up with the right people in the right way for my abilities!

I was thrown away by sociopaths very very young! Im lucky to be alive! I had fair weather friends when growing up! if your in the neighborhood; your in! if you are forced to move away, they forget about you that much faster as if they never met you! ######6 horrible torture! Godless and unbelievable! you are truly sacrificed to death! I had no friends, it was all fake! How humiliating to put someone through this as a joke!

I should have been noticed for my abilities!! Nothing! I was treated like a worthless scumbag; a fool!

Now I understand more about the human condition!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When it comes to women; it has not been good! I want women in their place! Im not their ######6 parol officer! Thats not my job!
Most women Ive dealt with are ######6 worthless! they are deceptive liars and opportunists and nothing else! I understand the need to survive! but to hate or disrespect honest people? No thank you! I want nothing to do with you! go find someone else please; I aint got no money!

I have not looked for nice girls; not yet! I dont know why! not yet! something thats coming in the future!

I have not had the ability to look for anyone!

The people Ive attracted or good looking and the wrong people! all of them! most of them; all of them!

When you have no money; and I dont! you dont get to have an attitude as I do! women dont buy into it!
Most women Ive met look at men as inferior and with contempt! certainly, these are not women i want to date, and soon I can see through them!
So, Im pissed of at having to take responsibility for women! Im not going to; they can go out with someone else! ###$ it!
====================================================================================

The key is sanity in the way of coming out of dissociative disorder!

I have massive PTSD problems! They are better now! or the symptoms are better! for the very longest time, I did not know who i was, or where I was!

Im not sure I know where I am now! I know the city Im in; I dont know why Im here or what Im doing here!
I stopped of here and stayed ever since to get recovery! I never wanted to be here! I never wanted to be anywhere, I just wanted to die!

God brought me here to learn to trust him before I die!

Im looking forward to being more of myself! and staying away from the wrong people! Ive sacrificed myself around others to not be alone! However, the stupidity of some would suggest I was around them because they feel they are Gods! and Im to worship them! Ive seen people believe I am worshiping them! I wasnt! they have big heads!

The goal is to let go and forgive and move on to God completely and forget all other things from the past; accept my first love! all other things are a lie!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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