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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1009)
Archives
- August 2019
Finding my voice
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 4:47 pm
Three important conversations with women
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 1:39 am
I letting socioapths attack me again; abuse me; feel demoralized
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 11:23 am
Mellowing; and idea of exploring the entrances to the gap...
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 1:20 am
A house and a backyard and 4 walls and a hobby
   Sun Aug 18, 2019 1:09 am
moving into know mans land (positive); and then through
   Fri Aug 16, 2019 9:41 pm
The Gap
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 8:37 pm
Teenage years
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:25 am
finding and painting rocks
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 5:14 pm
Expressing my feelings
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 3:26 pm
I know Ive never met any women to date ever....
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 11:02 am
Being alone all of my life with out women or a relationship
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:16 am
The wright brothers created plaines; Im creating my new life
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 8:41 am
A new era is starting; But Ive got problems
   Mon Aug 12, 2019 12:19 pm
Signs of the end is here; and a new era starting
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 6:13 pm
Trapped between 2 worlds
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 3:23 pm
Things are getting better; Im still fat; I got a problem
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 11:38 pm
Women have defeated me? and I feel deated? #1
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 6:45 am
Plans from the universe; they have cometh
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:39 pm
breaking things and coming together
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 11:44 am
What am I thinking about
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:16 am
That breaking point
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 8:45 pm
Needing my mothers permission
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:47 pm
And another day
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:03 pm
Im so right in the middle of the promises
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 4:35 pm
whats missing with music; live playing
   Mon Aug 05, 2019 11:22 pm
Women and John Denver
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 11:33 pm
Bulling
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 1:33 am
art images coming back and other things; taking action
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:35 pm
I wasn't suppose to break the my first girls heart....
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 12:47 pm
Take my mother out of the picture; what do I get.
   Fri Aug 02, 2019 11:47 pm
Where am at right now.
   Thu Aug 01, 2019 11:30 am

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blogs help!

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sun Aug 09, 2015 1:44 am

Im writing allot of blogs! thats good, I cant wait for it to pass! meaning, I get more stuff out and be less sick!
I have no friends; as usual; Im an intelligent person! Im never hooked up with the right people in the right way for my abilities!

I was thrown away by sociopaths very very young! Im lucky to be alive! I had fair weather friends when growing up! if your in the neighborhood; your in! if you are forced to move away, they forget about you that much faster as if they never met you! ######6 horrible torture! Godless and unbelievable! you are truly sacrificed to death! I had no friends, it was all fake! How humiliating to put someone through this as a joke!

I should have been noticed for my abilities!! Nothing! I was treated like a worthless scumbag; a fool!

Now I understand more about the human condition!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When it comes to women; it has not been good! I want women in their place! Im not their ######6 parol officer! Thats not my job!
Most women Ive dealt with are ######6 worthless! they are deceptive liars and opportunists and nothing else! I understand the need to survive! but to hate or disrespect honest people? No thank you! I want nothing to do with you! go find someone else please; I aint got no money!

I have not looked for nice girls; not yet! I dont know why! not yet! something thats coming in the future!

I have not had the ability to look for anyone!

The people Ive attracted or good looking and the wrong people! all of them! most of them; all of them!

When you have no money; and I dont! you dont get to have an attitude as I do! women dont buy into it!
Most women Ive met look at men as inferior and with contempt! certainly, these are not women i want to date, and soon I can see through them!
So, Im pissed of at having to take responsibility for women! Im not going to; they can go out with someone else! ###$ it!
====================================================================================

The key is sanity in the way of coming out of dissociative disorder!

I have massive PTSD problems! They are better now! or the symptoms are better! for the very longest time, I did not know who i was, or where I was!

Im not sure I know where I am now! I know the city Im in; I dont know why Im here or what Im doing here!
I stopped of here and stayed ever since to get recovery! I never wanted to be here! I never wanted to be anywhere, I just wanted to die!

God brought me here to learn to trust him before I die!

Im looking forward to being more of myself! and staying away from the wrong people! Ive sacrificed myself around others to not be alone! However, the stupidity of some would suggest I was around them because they feel they are Gods! and Im to worship them! Ive seen people believe I am worshiping them! I wasnt! they have big heads!

The goal is to let go and forgive and move on to God completely and forget all other things from the past; accept my first love! all other things are a lie!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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