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Consumer 6
Consumer 6
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1009)
- August 2019
Finding my voice
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 4:47 pm
Three important conversations with women
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 1:39 am
I letting socioapths attack me again; abuse me; feel demoralized
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 11:23 am
Mellowing; and idea of exploring the entrances to the gap...
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 1:20 am
A house and a backyard and 4 walls and a hobby
   Sun Aug 18, 2019 1:09 am
moving into know mans land (positive); and then through
   Fri Aug 16, 2019 9:41 pm
The Gap
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 8:37 pm
Teenage years
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:25 am
finding and painting rocks
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 5:14 pm
Expressing my feelings
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 3:26 pm
I know Ive never met any women to date ever....
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 11:02 am
Being alone all of my life with out women or a relationship
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:16 am
The wright brothers created plaines; Im creating my new life
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 8:41 am
A new era is starting; But Ive got problems
   Mon Aug 12, 2019 12:19 pm
Signs of the end is here; and a new era starting
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 6:13 pm
Trapped between 2 worlds
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 3:23 pm
Things are getting better; Im still fat; I got a problem
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 11:38 pm
Women have defeated me? and I feel deated? #1
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 6:45 am
Plans from the universe; they have cometh
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:39 pm
breaking things and coming together
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 11:44 am
What am I thinking about
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:16 am
That breaking point
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 8:45 pm
Needing my mothers permission
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:47 pm
And another day
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:03 pm
Im so right in the middle of the promises
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 4:35 pm
whats missing with music; live playing
   Mon Aug 05, 2019 11:22 pm
Women and John Denver
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 11:33 pm
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 1:33 am
art images coming back and other things; taking action
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:35 pm
I wasn't suppose to break the my first girls heart....
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 12:47 pm
Take my mother out of the picture; what do I get.
   Fri Aug 02, 2019 11:47 pm
Where am at right now.
   Thu Aug 01, 2019 11:30 am

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Blog 44

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Wed Mar 28, 2012 4:25 am

On becoming an artist..
Im working on it alone.. The alone part is always the hard part.. Never ever anything other then alone.. it sucks...

I love the Hitler Parodies-I love the acting... The expression...

This has been a very hard psych week... I have dropped away and switched into another personality... I am now slowly coming back... I was another personality this morning in my therapists office.. That didn't go so well... However, I was able to learn more about hidden memories...

My mind is broken into halves.. to different people.. my mind is weak.. very very broken. Very weak.. its hard to participate in any activities for very long.. I dissociate into myself , into my world.. Im learning to except this... My mind is very very weak.. it brakes ... the outside world is to much information... I need a protected world to live in. I was thrown away at an early age. That is all I remember. I am lucky to be alive.. Yet, that is not enough... Im hoping that at some point that will be enough. That knowing Im still alive is all that I will need to be happy...
On being alone

I never wanted it. I just wanted friends.. People that loved me for who I am... I found that I was fooling myself and everyone around me...
I found myself in the palaces of the rich... I never questioned it... They thought I was part of it... I was a part of it because I was present... I was never one of them... Who did they think was fooling who.... I found myself in a nest of black widows.. they laughed with me, smiled with me, and wanted to make me one of there own.. Until I fell and could not get up... stranded, I looked back at them... They stood in silence and looked back at me... Talking among themselves, they asked the question... "Who is this... he has fallen... He is not one of us.. We have 8 legs... We do not fall..." One of them whispered to the other " he is not one of us", let us poison him and kill him..." And another " get him out of here, he is not one of us".... over the months and years I was slowly shunned and hated out of those places.. I was not of the financially wealthy.. I was not of the same kind.. not according to those people. There for I was takn , never to be seen again.... I never knew.... I don't attract those kind of swindlers anymore... As my self, an authentic human being, I was despised as if a leper..

Innocence is killed by these kind of people. The family system means nothing... the money and the family system is of one identity.... I was not allowed to be part of that.... I was thrown away... My childhood or innocence had no value... I had no value... I still have value to no one...

Its sanity to value people for who they are...

When one is rich or of a rich financial community, and the financial prosperity idea is of greater value then the family structural ideal, One does not have to be sane.. One does not have to have ethics.. its not needed. What are the consequences?, their are no consequences... One can get drunk, be rich and act out any way they choose... "Im OK, Your OK.. " this is the motto of those not in need... I didn't know one needed to have a bag of money to qualify before coming through the door.. I thought I was good enough being me.... How naive could I have been... I never knew.. I never knew I was living in the tent of the black widow...

They know I have something to say. That is why they spend 90% of the time talking about the missed spelled words.

When I have something to say, how fast they interrupt me to play the role of acknowledger or disqualifer, as if I was talking to them personally.. I am never able to get the original idea on the table..

The evil is protected... That is the state of the world. That which is valued is coveted.. It is not children that are protected, it is evil...


What a life....
Last edited by OMNICELL on Thu Mar 29, 2012 8:50 am, edited 2 times in total.

Dissociative Disorder
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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