I have something in common with the Burmese people..
The Burmese people have been in trouble for many years.. The general population outside the cities are being destroyed one at a time through starvation, homelessness and a military fascist regime that targets the innocent, shooting first then burning them alive.
The village people of burma are like you or me. They just want to have a house filled with children and a community, Food, clothing, hobbies, friends.. However, instead they are being genocide.... Forced to wonder the forest with no food, no housing, no medical. They are burned alive in their small townships. They are hunted, shot and killed.. They are turned into Porters. A porter is someone that carries the armies heavy gear on their backs until they are starved to death or beaten to death or shot. If they get tired they are killed...
Whats wrong with these ######6 people, that they would turn on themselves, on their own innocence, become an organization that kills there own people ultimately killing themselves.. Whats wrong with the above picture. What happened? A child is born believing they will have a normal life, instead life is a short nightmare of sorrow abandonment and humiliation.. Why? Even the Burmese people that are hunted are asking these simple questions. Life is short. Why is all of this going on,....
How does the above fit into my blog today...
Their are many ways to genocide a person.. One does not have to live in an isolated country in the Asiatic provence to be destroyed... One can be destroyed in there home town just as easily by other means... Abandonment, public humiliation, game playing, social ostracization... Character assassination, general hate and contempt for a person for no reason..
Status-popularity-social positioning vs honesty - decency - human authenticity
I hope I don't get thrown off this site for having my own ideology, one that is contrary to popular belief... Seems the ruling parties of any group end up as Elite. Elite is not safe for anyone... Social position is the most worthless contrived distractive antidote ever conceived to battle the dysfunction of off-balanced human development under modern government platonics.... If Im not able to express myself, or show personal identity, If Im not accepted for my true authenticity, I need to work through the problems that I may grow honestly. However, a more sinister approach has been created to solve this problem. Create a group of dishonest people and be one of them. Create a pathological Elite that will give acceptance and security.. One cannot be true to themselves or anyone else in this Elite. One is looking to be viewed all the time, one is never to be the viewee..... Viewed and worshiped as a star that others in the Elite group may get envious, that is the goal, to be ones own God. And if others have to suffer for that, that is OK. If others have to die that I may live as I wish, They are only human sacrifices. They are the other people things... The other sub human things. The other things... The second class viewers.. They are not like the in people!, or, the eternal "us". Those who are viewed are Gods, those who are viewers are expendable porters. Porters to be used then ran into the ground and buried alive..
Modern mental illness is created in such psychological death factories. The victims, those that are just,, those that have no need for Elitism are at risk of extreme mental pressures.. Being the second class rated under such social systems can cause death... These systems can be in Government nations, business group, church group, or a simple basic family system where one person in control becomes imbalanced.
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I am agonizing, I am trusting God on how to deal with my present situation.
Because Im not working and Im on SSI Im am shunned by most people. I am considered non- important or Im looked at as poverty... I am held in contempt.. I am not treated with equality or respect.. I am a throw away...
Worse, My symptoms come and go... Ive had mental problems all of my life. They can be traced back to the beginning.. I would have or could have died from them at any time. Most people would not have hung on as long as I did before I received help...
Some of the major systems are more manageable. I am more here now.. I am able to think more clearly.. That doesn't mean much. My mind is in constant battle with the PTSD problems... My mind is always 50% away... Thats much better then it used to be..
My mind cannot readjust to the outside world. It wont leave its own world.. Im not sure what world is the outside world... Suicide is always a bottle filled with pills away or the other varied choices the internet and other sources provide..
What kind of society do I live in that I have to kill myself to be free... I live in America the socialist police state..
Its to hard to become someone else's pawn. Its to heart breaking for me. I will end up dead.. Suicide is a pathological part of my existence... Its part of me... To lay down and die... To die as an answer to freedom. My mind does not see. It is always taken over. The part of me that would see reality is gone. I have learned to survive with a " gone" personality... I have learned to be a tank outside. However, I don't last very long outside. I have learned to disguise the best that I can... Im not always able to do this... And Im not able to disguise for very long periods. Long enough to make it through a 12 step meeting. Long enough to go to a store to buy food... Or go to a church meeting..
All people that are on disability aught not be grouped as a whole. Each situation is a private affair and no one else's business.. ITs a private thing. I so long that it could have been... could have stayed that way in my life.
This is the first time in my adult life that symptoms are going down. It is a strange thing. Its like walls that are disappearing. Yet those walls protected me... When I could not connect to the outside world, I no longer cared about the outside world. I was in my own world, me and God... now the walls are disappearing and what Im finding I don't like..
The world is a much meaner place then I remember. Im hacked apart all day long by people that judge. I don't get a chance to be myself. Im judged to death. I want to run away and hide, tell no- one about my past or my present situation.
The 12 step groups ive been at are over for me.. they have become Fascist dressing rooms for the Elite false... I am not a false. Its hard to associate with " false". Corruption is bad. Those that corrupt themselves and lovingly accept it are worse...
Im looking for humility to come back to self. A self that is authentic about my beliefs, and unwavering. Im a decent person. Im not going to co sign people that do not care about what I care about. I need to learn to hide from them. Stay away from them... Don't fall in love with a girl from there circles. Stay away from them. no general friends from that group. These people are not safe....
It is not OK for me to live as I wish if others have to die for me to do so. And there are many ways to kill a bird. Not just by stoning it... I am an innocent person. I have to find other innocent people that are from the lost tribe that I am from.... The Psychiatric class of the recovering...
Im afraid Im an outcast among the American people. Yet Im the best they have ever seen, and they will never know it... How ######6 stupid.... Dumb assess....
This is the first of these type of blogs. These blogs are about going outside for the first time, what I see and how I feel deal and heal....