Beliefs and values; Do I know where Im headed!
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My real interest in life is not the poor! Its in having a home, and a place to live and a neighborhood or living out in the mountains and having friends and living near a ski resort! Living!
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I don't mean to be rude about it! Im going to live while others are dying on planet earth and in my country! God has allowed it! He has retired me from caring about the fight! I love the people and want them saved! Someone else will be assigned to help with this; The saviors of the world!
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Im not, nor was I ever meant to be a savior of the world! I was not interested in such things! Im a really good kid! If you understand! I was of the most decent kids in the whole world! I was torn to pieces! And the results were a broken destroyed person! I walked into a poison spiders nest and was destroyed; day after day after day! For the spider was never telling anyone who she was! And the poison was injected, but I was to young to understand that it hurt me! After a period of time, I became sick and then worse! Deranged! No one cared if I lived or Died! No one! They still don't! I have God, and he is or has supplied the right people to associate with!
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Biggest goal is to clean my apartment and wash my clothing!
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Music; this is a hard one! I have callings and talents! I have to work with God to rearrange this that I can get a working satisfaction out of it! Im not talking about working in a lounge or something! I mean; I do not have the resources in front of me that Im aware of to help me in the practice process! Until this is worked through! No performance aspects are possible! I mean; I need a place to sing to play an instrument, to compose! This has been a big problem in my life! At some point I hope to see this manageably! Im working toward this! It's a sensitive angering situation!
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If you had callings and talents but could not use them; How would you feel! It's a very hard thing to work on or work with! Funds have been limited! All must go to God for understanding! I didn't want to be 90 years old before I could sing a song in peace! I simply don't get it! I wait upon God!
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Women; Have to keep moving forward; meeting knew people and asking them out! And their it is! Manifesting and creating a vision in first person of them in my head; talking to me, kissing me, holding me; me touching them; looking at them up close!
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Its easy to go negative! What I have to do is tell myself the positive! And work on my programs dealing with the positive! One way to turn things positive is to work on smaller positive goals! For example!
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Im visualizing the concept of finding a cool rock on the railroad tracks today! So, I will visualize first; then tell myself what I want and that Im doing it! " I am holding a cool rock I found on the railroad tracks today"!; stuff like that! And when negative thoughts come in! I pray about lifting the block from me! If it's a person; I pray for forgiveness for them!
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I can do many goals today! Talk to someone about a deep issue! Or manifest something small! Like a cup of coffee! I can pick 3 knew things Im going to do to day that would be cool and make a decision to do them! Small things! Like look up video games on the net that Im interested in!
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You start small, making yourself positive! If you start to big you get knocked out! Thats down the journey; down the path! The idea is to believe! And that requires faith and trust! And those qualities take time to master without negative blocks getting in the way!