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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1029
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (869)
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- May 2019
i have alot more to talk about
   Sat May 18, 2019 11:49 pm
I cant remember sex
   Sat May 18, 2019 4:32 am
Somewhere in time
   Fri May 17, 2019 6:01 am
Goals of being myself again
   Thu May 16, 2019 8:36 pm
In limbo land
   Wed May 15, 2019 3:32 am
Getting fat and other things
   Mon May 13, 2019 6:14 am
Childhood horror starting to surface
   Sat May 11, 2019 12:00 am
blessings; this is stating for me; to feel blessed
   Thu May 09, 2019 7:41 pm
resentments and negative thinking
   Thu May 09, 2019 5:43 pm
Im working on stories
   Wed May 08, 2019 8:32 pm
Dissociative people write blogs
   Tue May 07, 2019 6:18 pm
Coming back; no friends
   Mon May 06, 2019 3:50 am

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being taken back to the beginning

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sun Apr 14, 2019 10:18 pm

SO; the lord/God universe is bringing me around; and being sent back to start over; and I can see it and feel it;
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Most of it is about economics; How do I gain the things Ive always wanted on my own without depending on anyone. How do I think like a man and gain the confidence to get the things I want in the world.
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Im starting to understand. The universe is reteaching me how to start again and be independent; a thing I never learned when young; but I so desperately tried but no one was their to help me; no one cared or wanted to; I was all alone; completely; but never knew it. I knew it but thought I could work through it; I had no idea I was being destroyed and a throwaway.
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The universe is leading me back to skills 101; how do I focus on what I want; and hold that focus and not let go no matter what. The universe is showing me that pathways to anything can be unfolded; anything I want. And thats where my work is right now; learning about these pathways; allowing them to unfold; its scary stuff; I feel like I could be let down; so things are hard right now; trust issues with the universe.
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The hard part is going through with all of this; coming from a mentally ill background; its hard to believe I’ve come this fare. Im shocked; at one point I was the equivalent of a schizophrenic; now; Im setting long term goals and it feels safe; almost normal; However, I still suffer from loneliness; but still; I can set goals not to be alone and the universe will unfold pathways to these things; How do I know this; because I’ve been getting pathways unfolding for a while now; its nothing new; what is new? pathways unfolding at a larger diameter. Im interested in things of more confidence. bigger ticket items; we will see.

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/clinical Depression
lighter forms of agoraphobia
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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