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OMNICELL
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Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
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- December 2019
more changes ahead.
   Sun Dec 01, 2019 4:49 pm

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being taken back to the beginning

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sun Apr 14, 2019 10:18 pm

SO; the lord/God universe is bringing me around; and being sent back to start over; and I can see it and feel it;
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Most of it is about economics; How do I gain the things Ive always wanted on my own without depending on anyone. How do I think like a man and gain the confidence to get the things I want in the world.
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Im starting to understand. The universe is reteaching me how to start again and be independent; a thing I never learned when young; but I so desperately tried but no one was their to help me; no one cared or wanted to; I was all alone; completely; but never knew it. I knew it but thought I could work through it; I had no idea I was being destroyed and a throwaway.
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The universe is leading me back to skills 101; how do I focus on what I want; and hold that focus and not let go no matter what. The universe is showing me that pathways to anything can be unfolded; anything I want. And thats where my work is right now; learning about these pathways; allowing them to unfold; its scary stuff; I feel like I could be let down; so things are hard right now; trust issues with the universe.
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The hard part is going through with all of this; coming from a mentally ill background; its hard to believe I’ve come this fare. Im shocked; at one point I was the equivalent of a schizophrenic; now; Im setting long term goals and it feels safe; almost normal; However, I still suffer from loneliness; but still; I can set goals not to be alone and the universe will unfold pathways to these things; How do I know this; because I’ve been getting pathways unfolding for a while now; its nothing new; what is new? pathways unfolding at a larger diameter. Im interested in things of more confidence. bigger ticket items; we will see.

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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