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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1009)
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- August 2019
Finding my voice
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 4:47 pm
Three important conversations with women
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 1:39 am
I letting socioapths attack me again; abuse me; feel demoralized
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 11:23 am
Mellowing; and idea of exploring the entrances to the gap...
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 1:20 am
A house and a backyard and 4 walls and a hobby
   Sun Aug 18, 2019 1:09 am
moving into know mans land (positive); and then through
   Fri Aug 16, 2019 9:41 pm
The Gap
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 8:37 pm
Teenage years
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:25 am
finding and painting rocks
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 5:14 pm
Expressing my feelings
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 3:26 pm
I know Ive never met any women to date ever....
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 11:02 am
Being alone all of my life with out women or a relationship
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:16 am
The wright brothers created plaines; Im creating my new life
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 8:41 am
A new era is starting; But Ive got problems
   Mon Aug 12, 2019 12:19 pm
Signs of the end is here; and a new era starting
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 6:13 pm
Trapped between 2 worlds
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 3:23 pm
Things are getting better; Im still fat; I got a problem
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 11:38 pm
Women have defeated me? and I feel deated? #1
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 6:45 am
Plans from the universe; they have cometh
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:39 pm
breaking things and coming together
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 11:44 am
What am I thinking about
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:16 am
That breaking point
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 8:45 pm
Needing my mothers permission
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:47 pm
And another day
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:03 pm
Im so right in the middle of the promises
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 4:35 pm
whats missing with music; live playing
   Mon Aug 05, 2019 11:22 pm
Women and John Denver
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 11:33 pm
Bulling
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 1:33 am
art images coming back and other things; taking action
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:35 pm
I wasn't suppose to break the my first girls heart....
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 12:47 pm
Take my mother out of the picture; what do I get.
   Fri Aug 02, 2019 11:47 pm
Where am at right now.
   Thu Aug 01, 2019 11:30 am

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being sexual abused from the ages of 0-5 ( trigger trigger)

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sun Aug 27, 2017 12:54 am

Sexual abuse from ages 0-5; that is what Im dealing with! its very hard; as I get better, that is all I see, and can visualize from the feelings; the feeling are creating visuals, graphic representations of whats happening to me! not good, Im being control, with rape and sexual assault and violence! At what level; Im still alive!
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Its not good; its psychopaths and sociopathic monsters! I know who they are! generally speaking! theirs a good chance this is ritualistic abuse! to bad; nothing I can do about it! I plan not to be a victim of it! so; but its controlling my nervous system; its got me shut down!
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My nervous system will not allow anyone in bed with me! I feel dirty, and less then, I feel like a little boy! I feel like I can be controlled by a dominating mother figure that is sexual tied me up or has other doing it! Something horrible is happening to me! Im stuck, like Im trapped or chained against a wall! and or tied up to something; a machine! the front of it! This is not the first time Ive seen these memories! The lights are on; its farm equipment, this is a basement! These are small equipment! Im not the only one their! Its like Im surrounded! Im assuming its satanic in nature; the rituals!
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The point; its hard to have a future with a women, if I cant first get over these things! Its a small child in me scared to death that is clammed up; stuck in one position of physical fear!
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Well, stuck in many positions of physical fear!
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I have to keep working with God to work through these things! In many cases, I have to share this with people; I have to keep exposing it until my inner self wants to do something about it! Im attempting to get the secrets out! over n over n over!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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