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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1028)
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- December 2019
more changes ahead.
   Sun Dec 01, 2019 4:49 pm

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Being friends with women; making out with women

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Mon Aug 20, 2018 5:05 pm

Being friends with women; making out with women; this means moving on from the past; that baby; is what it means! Im working with the universe for this; this is my top manifestation; what does this mean; it means I move on from the past into the arms of new women for friendships; relationships and making out!
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Dissociative disorder; destroying my friendship life and love make out life!
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Dissociative disorder blanks me out anytime I want to get close to someone; it flashes pictures of the psychopaths when I was young; knocking me out! I completely dislocate from reality and Im turned into a sleep walker; the equivalent! Im not actually sleeping; I mean, my nervous system turns away from whats in front of me and dissociates into the other direction! I can never get close to anyone; my dissociative disorder wont let me! What if I just want to make out with women; no go!
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Ive found that no women gets in; non of them! I can ask for 1000 phone numbers; and I never call them or go out with anyone or deal with them! I tell myself; Im just a player and Ill end up using the girl! or; I really like her and Im afraid of getting into a long term relationship with her! At the end of the day; nothing! No girl is close enough to be my friend! and Im not making out with anyone! and yet; theirs plenty of women to go out with! So; this is a big big big big big problem; becoming my number one concern; I want it fixed; Im sick of this! its horrible!
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I have watch porn because of this! because of my dissociative disorder; I dont have a choice because the PTSD is triggered so badly that I cant get close to anyone; My nervous system will not listen to the reality in front of me; it dissociates to the past and I relive things; or my nervous system will not allow me to relive things; it completely shuts everything down!
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Im really freaked and bugged that I dont have women as friends; I mean; friends! the ability to have a women as a friend! Nothing! Im working with the universe to change this! its horrible because no one can ever be my soulmate and no relationships just protection; and I dont want protection anymore; but it wont go away and it wont go down; its like a solid rock I cant blast through! we will see!
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So; Im pushing on the universe to open things up! its time I get a new life and some new friends in my life; some new women in my life; and not being controlled by the old thoughts or memories of the past! its time for change!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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