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OMNICELL
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being dumped

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Thu Aug 04, 2016 9:42 pm

The whole of my life; Ive been dumped! Dumped by lesser minds! And in shock all of this happened by numerous people!~ They were all wrong! They were all bad! All of them! I was not! Thus; Im the victim!

I do not understand but I do understand! bad people are bad people!

I do not talk to them anymore! Many attempted to make me into a bad person! Unfortunately this is the relational aggression that psychopaths bring to normal innocent decent people! And the psychopath will turn a whole community against you if they can! Your friends will turn against you! and so will relatives! As the psychopath will simply lie to the relative concerning you! The relative has no reference that they are being lied to by a psychopath! Thus, the relative believes the psychopath! You are condemned before you have a chance to refute the situation!

My life was created by psychopaths and destroyed thus by them at a specific time of childhood! I was not prepared and had absolutely no idea what was to come! Nor was I prepared to be destroyed!! Nor was I ready to understand such things! In innocence; I turned to the psychopaths when a child to continue to help me! I had no idea what they were and what they were doing! I know what they are now! And they are dangerous creatures that destroy all things! They will burn the flesh off of you or the flesh of your emotions within your nervous system! One way or the other! you will be tortured and distorted!

I went into states of fear! I never expressed the feelings from horror of many times being ripped apart! I am ashamed! I went back to the sociopaths at different times of my life! I did not know any different! I continued to see them as bad human beings that I did not understand, when in reality they were not humans! And thus is the problem!

I was never able to express myself when destroyed or swindled by them! I had no idea I was being set up to be swindled and this happened every time I associated with them!

To understand; the psychopath gets rid of you; that is that! They don't remember you or want you around them ever again! They have given you away! You are not to come back! And thus they planned this from the start! They know exactly what they are doing! They don't care! If you come back; they will plot to steal from you; they are predictors! They see you as a weakling to be taken advantage of!

When you think of a psychopath; Think of Adolf Hitler! As psychopath he did away with his trouble! He created a false trouble; the Jews! And with this; he simply had them killed! And that is that! They are not to come back! He got rid of them! If you are human; you really cant do this to others; kill them, regardless of what movies show! The reason; your human! These unfortunate people died ( the jews)! And thus the nature of horror thrown upon them. In human nature; Humans cant kill this way! They might be forced to attempt! But they are not made to kill each other; some can; most cannot! People have hearts! and this quality will come out when faced to kill another!

The problem with dealing with the psychopaths; they cause in-human levels of trouble for normal people! Its sub human! Imagine the pain of coming from a Nazi prison camp! Those people are destroyed for ever! Yes, some will come back to some levels of functioning! Many will not! Its to much in-human activity forced down a humans throat! They are damaged! And never regenerate their minds or psychological state!; they do not come back to sanity!

I spent to many times around psychopaths and getting ripped off by them and damaged by them; over, n over, over!

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Yet; I must get help for the oppressed feelings I have from the damaged created by psychopaths! I lost the ability to act or respond! I have not been able to respond to people that are interested in me! I go into freeze mode! I never have relationships with anyone!

When some one wants to date me or show interest; I go into a state of shock and ask the question to myself; ' why do they want to date me" " if they knew me, what ive been through, they would not approach me in such a way" " if they knew anything about me, they would run" " I am not a normal person, Ive been through 2 much" " they have no idea who or what they are talking to" " If they knew who they were talking to, they would no this will never work, I would probably scare them with my depth of understanding of horror" " they would not have my ripped apart scars from the depth forced upon me through the torturing of my nervous system"! Once they found out I was not of the Gym or Wine country set; Im out! We have lots of wineries in our area! Rich people gather to get drunk and taste win all day long!

For the reasons mentioned above; I write people off as being naive! no normal person would want to go out with me! A normal person would be freaked out by me! they would run from me thinking Im a monster! I am the son of monsters and I will never be wanted by anyone!

I have a food stamp card! Im on social security! Would that women at the gym still want to date me if she found out I was at the low end of the economic scale! would she!

Heres the deal; Possibly, many of the women that have been attracted to me would like me if I gave them a chance; but I never gave them a chance; I simply freezed up!

How would you like to be me; You are of interest by an attractive women; You ask her out! she finds out your past or your life and turns you down! who wants to go through this! And thus I would tell myself this! who wants to go through this! Then it hit me! I want to go through this! I want to see if a women really does want to date me or she's just shallow and playing games! I really do want to see if one of them really would like me after I tell them who I am!

I really would like to see one women like me if she found out about me! and discovered the real me!

So; Im getting better and moving forward! And this is the area of shame in my life! I handled shame by never getting around anyone! I would like this to stop!

When Ive been abused as I have! who wants to work their way out into society for more bashing and judgment and abuse! One has to go through allot of therapy to go back out into the jungle and be judged again!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/clinical Depression
lighter forms of agoraphobia
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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Re: being dumped

Permanent Linkby Snaga on Thu Aug 04, 2016 9:54 pm

Omnicell Bit of an absence, for you- glad to see you back mijo.
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