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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1025)
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- November 2019
Social skills improving
   Thu Nov 07, 2019 12:51 am
My goal is to work through adolescence.
   Fri Nov 01, 2019 9:16 pm

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back again; performance

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sun Jun 30, 2019 5:27 pm

I have to learn about coming back to life. I have allot of dissociative nightmares to work through; times I was all alone in complete abandonment and neglect.
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My life has to come back; not someone elses Im suppose to concentrate on; my life; this is about my life; not someone else; this is about my life; not someone elses; its about my life. This is about my life; not someone elses.
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This is about my life; not someone elses. this is about my happiness; not someone elses.
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So; I have allot of work to do; Ill keep writing my new stories about my new life; and Ill keep writing stories that re structure my past the way I wanted or always thought I would live my life. I have much work to do.
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I have allot of work to do.
. I have to keep working toward my dreams; keep it up.
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The best thing I can do is wake up and then learn to do the things I love; not worrying about how it looks to others; but just do what I like to do.
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I was brought up in trauma; and I dont have skills; Ive been in a dissociative dream world and its hard; I feel so stupid; like learning anything new is to hard. Ive always felt that way; accept it from never being safe or feeling safe no matter where I go; and in the school system I was bullied all the time and could not perform or function; nothing.
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So; I have allot to work through; Im looking for that one big break; working for it; working toward it; the problem is; I dont exactly know what it looks like; its something that gets me out of this poverty thinking and back to having confidence
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I saw a pic of an expensive log cabin; I would like to go to that place and feel apart of it; not worrying about how much I have
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new plans on what I want; problem is reality. Im still scared to let go of it. Go beyond it.
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one area I want back in my life is struts A’s; not sure what that looks like
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The right path to success. what is it

My goal is success. my goal is getting in the middle of life and making changes I can feel and see and touch.
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I want to move out of the fantasizing dissociative stage to a working level stage of success. I want things; houses cars , girlfriends , money.
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Id like to learn how to haven; now; I need a secure future.
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..
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So im waiting or working toward the things that will bring me out of poverty.
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The type of girl I want to meet is a cog level girl. upper level in intellect.

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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