| Psychology and Mental Health Forum | |
https://www.psychforums.com/blog/OMNICELL/back_again%3B_performance_b-12891_sid-0b96f1b92fbd58b2b92b49d1a7138888.html |
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| Author: | OMNICELL [ Sun Jun 30, 2019 5:27 pm ] |
| Blog Subject: | back again; performance |
I have to learn about coming back to life. I have allot of dissociative nightmares to work through; times I was all alone in complete abandonment and neglect. . My life has to come back; not someone elses Im suppose to concentrate on; my life; this is about my life; not someone else; this is about my life; not someone elses; its about my life. This is about my life; not someone elses. . This is about my life; not someone elses. this is about my happiness; not someone elses. . So; I have allot of work to do; Ill keep writing my new stories about my new life; and Ill keep writing stories that re structure my past the way I wanted or always thought I would live my life. I have much work to do. . I have allot of work to do. . I have to keep working toward my dreams; keep it up. . The best thing I can do is wake up and then learn to do the things I love; not worrying about how it looks to others; but just do what I like to do. . I was brought up in trauma; and I dont have skills; Ive been in a dissociative dream world and its hard; I feel so stupid; like learning anything new is to hard. Ive always felt that way; accept it from never being safe or feeling safe no matter where I go; and in the school system I was bullied all the time and could not perform or function; nothing. . So; I have allot to work through; Im looking for that one big break; working for it; working toward it; the problem is; I dont exactly know what it looks like; its something that gets me out of this poverty thinking and back to having confidence . I saw a pic of an expensive log cabin; I would like to go to that place and feel apart of it; not worrying about how much I have . new plans on what I want; problem is reality. Im still scared to let go of it. Go beyond it. . one area I want back in my life is struts A’s; not sure what that looks like . The right path to success. what is it My goal is success. my goal is getting in the middle of life and making changes I can feel and see and touch. . I want to move out of the fantasizing dissociative stage to a working level stage of success. I want things; houses cars , girlfriends , money. . Id like to learn how to haven; now; I need a secure future. . .. . . So im waiting or working toward the things that will bring me out of poverty. . The type of girl I want to meet is a cog level girl. upper level in intellect. |
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