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OMNICELL
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Posts: 1052
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
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Starting to show First Signs of breaking away from individuals o
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The Gift from God…
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2 goals; elements of accomplishment
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Art is changing; maybe success with women can be garnered.

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sat Dec 26, 2020 11:44 pm

Ive not taken my art to the 12 step group yet; Next week is what Im looking at...
However, after the meeting I was walking around; I noticed something; art was alive and aligned within my nervous system as an energy direction to shoot strait out of me.
Art; the creation of Art; it is in my imagination. It's alive and aligned in front of me the way it should be; in my heart and then in my mind. My heart and imagination; it is pounding and obsessive and feels so good; and all of this first; all of this aligned with the universe first. So; its in me and is burning and bursting to come out.. Its bursting so much I have complete purpose; thus to create through art and canvas... So; it is here and it has returned and or is returning; I will not make a judgment until I take a slew of painting works to a 12 step meeting; line them up against the wall and just let them sit their during the whole meeting; thus giving me the feeling of having an art show at a gallery; and that will fulfill a life long break through; the beginning of one...
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Can the same be done with women; Yes; It starts with God and asking for directions; Im guessing it has to do with talking to women first; wanting to talk to them and get close to them first for the enjoyment of it; thats where the work is; to give them something; entertainment; something; something pleasurable for me to associate with them; something. And like art;' it builds up in the nervous system first; It builds in the nervous system with God universe as the center creation point of energy and builds and then my heart believes and in my imagination it builds until it comes alive; and I start in my imagination to build it using various tools.
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And at some point; My interest in women is aligned directly in front of me and thus I search and look for women directly to entertain and make laugh; Im fun and good for them and protect them and make them laugh.. Im directly interested in them; And thats where this might be going; I can feel it; I need much healing in this area; I can see and feel the dissociationall aspects of thing. So; Ill work with the universe on alignment of this.
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Music; Same as Art; I can feel it building... what does it mean. The energy building but the thoughts are of a time I was taken from my house as a child and put into a place where I was not loved; I was forgotten and molested bullied and destroyed... My voice dismantled along with my dreams.. I was treated like in a prison camp... Anyway; all of that must be replaced and I think it will for things have been growing and if it can happen with Art; it can happen with many things.
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The key is where to start and to get it to start; I will take it all to the universe and tell the universe to start the processes and the journey.

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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