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OMNICELL
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Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
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- December 2019
Vile hatred and anger.
   Thu Dec 12, 2019 4:18 pm
more changes ahead.
   Sun Dec 01, 2019 4:49 pm

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Art and women

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Sat May 28, 2016 12:11 am

Im getting old! Im 54 years old! Women still like me! I still attract some women! But it's getting ridiculous!

I have no money, no status! Im a none function, none creating artist with no studio!

What do I have going for me!

I have the ability to use the Laws of attraction to manifest an idea in my imagination and allow it to grow! I have the ability to write about it as if its already happening; my goals! And then let the Universe after a time, create a path that will light up, for me to follow to my destinations!

To tell you this is frustrating is under kill! Its unbelievable that I have to continue to go through these games to have a life that others seem to have out of the box! I don't get it!

The best thing for me is to just do the writing! And go with it! Create a vision of my future! And learn to trust God!

Women;

I was at the Library! I was talking with this women at the front desk! I made a joke; as if I could not find my card; my library card! I told her to wait a moment and made a magic wand move, as if I created magic and made my other card appear! What type of response did I get! Nothing! Almost as if I had no status as a human being! And so it goes! I cant even make jokes with a librarian! I have no status! No worth to anyone!

So, I will write out being in situations where Im discovered as a human being!

As for girlfriends! Heres the deal! They have to be worth enough for me to get involved in! I have to connect with them in my soul; soul, to soul, then I will take an interest in them! But I will not take an interest in someone who is so ######6 arrogant and worthless they cant even see the value of an honest man! This is truly bizarre in my opinion!

I have no money! This does not mean Im not working with the Universe to create something!

Something is wrong!

People like me are not looked at! We are passed over by society! It does not make any sense! Im a decent respectable person! And have no value with anyone!

For you to give me value; I don't need you to give me anything! You give value because value is in front of you!

I don't know what to think!

So, if someone said; do you attract women! I don't know! I have no idea anymore who Im attracting! Im not attracting the right people! And it's not about looks! They're a bunch of ######6 @@@@@@@! It makes me sick that Im attracting these people! For God sake, Im a decent person! You would think I would be noticed by decent people! Im not! Im not noticed by anyone!

None of this makes any sense! Im not sure where to go, or whom to go to! Nothing makes any sense accept to keep working on my future and don't bother with the present!

I feel like; as far as meeting women; How would you like to keep meeting more women that see you as having no value! How would you like to meet a bunch of people that see nothing in you! What do you do! They act like Im a loser!

I would like to be around women that are smart enough to see me as a winner! But women are about money! You have to have some money! You must! You must!

Im so afraid of being judged before I get started!

Its like Im not in any type of caste system! Im outside society! No one is trained to notice me! Something!

I can write about it! Ask God to bring me the right people, , places, and things!

IT gets frustrating when you don't think your even worth enough to be treated with any status of any level! You start giving up!

Im not sure what women are looking for! It's certainly, not someone like me!

I know what Im not looking for! Im trying to understand what I am looking for! All I have to do is learn to believe! And Im trying to write as if I believe! And I will continue to do so!

When it comes to women; Im looked over! meaning, they don't want to know me! even if they here me speak! it means nothing! Im looked over!

Ive had a few desperate girls like me; they wanted to have a baby! Im sorry, thats not what I meant, when I said I wanted to be attracted to the right people! These girls are fine! their nice girls! nothing wrong with them; I hope they find a man that loves them and takes care of them!

The problem I'm having; I spend most of my time in the recovery rooms with broken sick people! the people i want to date are different then that! Im interested in more educated women!

Im a person of the arts that has no place to create any art! Its ###$! and Im suppose to meet these new people! where?

Something has to change or give way! I suppose its my confidence around people! but this is so hard! and Im expected to be supper man! this is all crazy!

I know the work that has to be done! I have to keep writing as if I already have these things I want!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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