Im in a kind of war now; its between negative ways and thinking and positive thinking and a new life!
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The problem is; Im a deliberate creator! This means, no one owes me anything; I have to continually learn how to practice the art of allowing good things into my life! I have to be willing to be a cooperative component of my own new positive stories; positive stories over the old negative stories of " I wish I could but its missing" " I wish I had that thing or desire thats missing, I give up". The new story is; Ive already got what I want, l its already on its way and Im excited about it; Thank you universe for bringing me things I dont know about yet!
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Its a war! The goal is to create a new story or stories about my life; rewrite my story, that it become a positive story,. dominant positive story over the old negative story of I cant, and the negative limiting beliefs that go with it! Im slowly disrupting that old story and creating new parts of a new story over the top! its not easy! meaning, it takes time and practice! No one owes me anything! I have to do the work myself if I want something! If I want to get this done!
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This is a mans job; not a boys!
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A gap resides between me and my childhood, or my childhood and me! Im working on this gap; closing this gap! exposing the past; keep exposing it and exposing it, letting the steam out of it! Slowly allow the past to go its way, and have the present take its place!
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Its all hard work for me! Ive got a close in mind; literally; dissociative! So, it takes practice to go positive and believe it; it takes more discipline then Ive got; but not for long; Im working on it!
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Anything new That I want; I create a visual of it and send it out to the universe with my belief that it will show up down my journey!
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A gap resides with lots of PTSD floating around in the middle of it; the PTSD has to be battled through!
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The goal is to get control of my mind! Not have it control me or feel like it is thinking me!
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The dominant stories in my mind; they must be mine, not my brains!
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As for goals; I have to learn how to set them and stick to them!
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When one sets a desire; one has to believe in it! And that belief is what Im working on! A pathway is created by the universe, It my job to ask source energy to reveal it to me and then turn and follow the path to my desires!
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Trust and allowing and receiving are the biggest issues! I have to keep working at it! over n over n over!
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One major goal is visualizing what I really want; learning to accept what I really want! not easy! not easy at all! It pulls me out of my dissociative state!
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Art;
Art seems to be one of those catalysts for proving myself in the outside world! I have to learn to stick to it! Believe! Its possible; I have to man up on this one and break through the bottle neck!
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