I have anxiety disorder; this means a horrible view of myself and terror and fear when dealing with people close up; especially someone that could have meaning in my life! its a horrible chance taking!
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I have to get good at social stuff; especially with attractive women! I have to! I will get good at it; my wife will be among them; I have to learn how to reach out to them; toward them beyond my dissociative disorder and beyond my anxiety disorders!
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I cant express the horrible fear and loathing and nightmarish fear of rejection of others; they are in control; they seem in control as I go them!
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Not meeting the right people; this has to change! I have to work through this and meet the right people!