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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1029
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (871)
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- May 2019
Thinking about moving
   Thu May 23, 2019 9:49 pm
PTSD and breaking through?
   Thu May 23, 2019 7:29 pm
i have alot more to talk about
   Sat May 18, 2019 11:49 pm
I cant remember sex
   Sat May 18, 2019 4:32 am
Somewhere in time
   Fri May 17, 2019 6:01 am
Goals of being myself again
   Thu May 16, 2019 8:36 pm
In limbo land
   Wed May 15, 2019 3:32 am
Getting fat and other things
   Mon May 13, 2019 6:14 am
Childhood horror starting to surface
   Sat May 11, 2019 12:00 am
blessings; this is stating for me; to feel blessed
   Thu May 09, 2019 7:41 pm
resentments and negative thinking
   Thu May 09, 2019 5:43 pm
Im working on stories
   Wed May 08, 2019 8:32 pm
Dissociative people write blogs
   Tue May 07, 2019 6:18 pm
Coming back; no friends
   Mon May 06, 2019 3:50 am

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Anxiety,

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Wed Nov 11, 2015 2:00 am

Ive been told by women that Im suppose to act like a man instead of being myself! I would rather be myself! and let others accept me! and not care what others think I should be! but I do not have that kind of stability!

Stability to me; money! a certain standard of living! but those people have faith; and that comes from God!
So, Im all ###$ up about everything! I always have been! I started out OK! but got ###$ over and ###$ up by the psychopaths! and Im in real confusion!

Im so ###$ up! I never started out after the beginning of childhood and advanced; instead I was shock with trauma and went to sleep and confusion! I was waisted away as a human being and no one cared and they never will again!

All my middle class upbringing was done away from the original psychopaths and their way of life! their is a good chance they know nothing about me! nothing!

They have no conscious, so they never knew me in the first place! the whole thing sucks!


Im trying; I'm trying to get stinger! I could not keep up with anyone when I was younger; I was thrown away while others were starting to prosper! They had families! I had nothing!

So; its wrong what they did; its sick! And they sent me to God to live with God! To die first on earth! Thats not right; thats not nice! Thats war! They were my enemies! If so; then what do my friends look like! Act like! Who are they! What are they about!

I don't seem to be chosen by the middle class money people! The poor hear me but they have no values like I do! Im a bit different!

The ruff necks like me! But they have different values! I seem to have a high standard of values and very little money or ability to function!

I have allot of interacting to learn! Why others are not helping me; possibly, because they are not my friends and I thought they were! They are not! Some are, some arnt! Some are very arrogant!

Now; if I say hi to some of the girls; they shun me like Im a leper! Im like; oK! What did I do wrong! But then I say to myself! They are not my kind of people! Something is wrong with me wanting to be friend with them or accepted by them! But then, I would be all alone! And Im afraid of that! So I put up with people pleasing; waiting on God!

I must stay in Gods will and presence! Thats what I have to learn! And keep learning! Nothing outside God works for me! Nothing! The unspiritual darkness of world; it does not work; I suffocate within it!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/clinical Depression
lighter forms of agoraphobia
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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