As my mind and life slowly clear, Im understanding that I am coming back! I missed primary experiences and life development; no fault of my own; it was purposely planned that way by monsters! Not my fault was around monsters! Non of it was my fault; what happened to me! I wish I had known; but its to late; and no way I could done anything regardless; way to young! no way of knowing! I dont like my country that allows this to happen to children! With all the laws of the land; nothing ever helped me; no one cared!
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In the present; Im dealing with massive unbelievable amounts of anxiety when up close to people! The anxiety is created through thousands of negative thoughts about myself! These thoughts surface and intensify when up close to strangers! I feel like Im going to get judged to death for what I am not and what I dont have! I dont feel like Im part of any society; more like an outcast!
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Im doing better; I have the ability to be fee'r and live my life again without the dependency on the people of the past!
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Im asking the universe to create pathways for me to find new social outlets; new people! new places! I have to wait on the universe; hopefully it wont take long!