Im learning that when a person likes me, I have to respond. Its not fair to the person that cared enough to say hello to receive silence. Regardless of my anxiety problems I need to find away to respond. This whole affair of relating to others is very confusing. Just as I start opening up a bit, Im thrown into the shark den and expected to swim like a professional. Im just a beginner, not even a beginner. A beginner of a beginner, Yet, I have to respond to those that are responding to me. Its rude not to show appreciation, and I do appreciate. I spent to many years alone in agony and pain stuffed under a bed of fear. I now appreciate when anyone notices me and says hello or goes out of their way to give me extra accolades.
Im learning to be direct about being indirect. Im not good at direct action. I dissociate all over the place and become helpless. Thus, I loose. So, Indirect is the battle plan. When Im indirect, I still respond, I might say something simple " where did you get that shirt, I would like to buy one for my cousin" Something trivial. Indirect allows interaction with out jumping all over the person with neediness. I have been practicing indirect a few times. It is working.
Its important to remember the persons name. Many times because I don't remember the persons name, I will not talk to them. I am under such anxiety that I cant move, I find it hard to ask for help, or ask for the persons name. Thus, I may get saved through indirect chat as I concentrate on easy trivial short conversations stuff. Then if I relax, I might remember the name! at least thats the plan..
Like water carving faces in a rock. Time and practice will show results. I just need to back off a bit when the anxiety hits, one small step at a time. One consistent step at a time...