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https://www.psychforums.com/blog/OMNICELL/anti_social%3B_will_i_ever_get_better_b-11586_sid-2231050bc7b25d9f8b799d6bb520e833.html

Author:  OMNICELL [ Thu Nov 02, 2017 3:54 pm ]
Blog Subject:  Anti social; will I ever get better

Im dealing with a ripped up self esteem! the kind of self esteem that has been raped, ruptured and beheaded; now, what do I want to do with it! Im at this point; The focus is on what I want to do with my life; drag the dead parts of self behind me! Do I wait and heal or move out!
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Im anti social and dissociative! I think and feel but do not participate in the real world! I have learned to work with the laws of attraction and bring the people to me! However, I have to help out a little bit! I have hang out a bit; I cant hide in my room and I have to know what I want! its ok to go general and less specific! Whats my goal; to be outside where nice people hang out! it doesn't have to be specific; but it has to be different then what it is now!
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The recovery places are filled with sick people; but thats all I got! and its not enough! The recovery halls for fine for people that are recovering; they are not so good for socialization; not the kind Im talking about! I need something different; much different! Im glad I have the meetings; its not a social life! and I need a real social life!
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I have to work with source energy to fill in this gap; at least get started with it! The idea is to hang out where real people hang out and can talk at leaser. ITs possible, if I break it all down! the problem is PTSD and the past and specific parts of the past that show up; the other part is friends and money! Do I have friends to go to these places or am I alone! its all very hard! Its time I look for the best possible ending to the story and focus on that! and learn to face my fears or negative fears! I can do this; Ive been through many other things; this is just one more!
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Just got out of a meeting; morning meeting; about 5 of us; a master mind group! its a recovery group; but its acting as a mastermind group! Mastermind groups are what successful people use as a giant think tank; its mandatory if your going to have monetary success! all real searching people for success must have it! its like a giant brain and each person has their now expertise and talents that they bring to the table! ITs interesting when a topic of success flows up; you get 5 different view points and something sticks; something has value!
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Today I was told; it takes 10,000 hours for a person with PTSD to be successful! This was said because its known that people in the talents industry; music, art, writing, acting, dancing, movie making; these type of people require 10,000 hours of work to master their craft; this is a known standard! Id never heard of it being used to describe social success from one with PTSD; but I was right in line to hear it; and I needed to hear it and it stuck!
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The goal I have at this point in my recovery process is social! The ability to be successful socially that I have the calmness and confidence to meet my Asian-soulmate! This is the goal! and to be the best me I can be out and about! I would like my perimeters to build up to strengthen and to expand! I want more from my view then the feeling of being in an 8 foot cardboard box, locked against the walls!
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So; Im a complete beginner when it comes to walking out into the world wait a plan or vision; but Ill do it!

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