I have no real friends... I have a therapist.. Ive been working on recovery, so I haven't had time for real friends. I haven't been present for real friends.... and Im not sure the people Im associating with would be good friends... So, fare, they are not the best of friends....
Ive learned that many people cannot be trusted.. Say nothing to them! if they get a hold of something I say, they twist it into lies or make me into low status..... They are players and haters and not my friends.... I have to learn to let go of these people and stay on course....
My old friends, were never friends.. I was innocent and made a mistake; a costly mistake.. Ill try not to make that happen again! its hard it hurts...
I have God and not much else...
Im slowly getting better... and its horrible hard work. No one seems to be on my side, instead people are fighting against me to gain social position! That is all they care about!
I have many people playing games with me! they are haters, spitting in my face... they think they are superior! they are not! its all a joke.. They will never be! and so I have to learn to stay to myself through my recovery process. I have to learn to stay away from them permanently... They care nothing for me! its a joke....
I have girls playing games with me in the recovery process ( meetings)! they do not want to go out with me! they show interested but have a man on the side in the back row! They are playing games, and I have to learn to stay away from them..
Im getting stronger, but its hard hard work. I need to wake up! The people around me are not my friends....
I have to turn to God and understand that others are not my friends or on my side... If I am to get stronger I have to have some rules... I have to scarifies...
Im not sure where to go or who my friends would be! Im not sure! at the meetings its safe to be me! its manipulative, but its safe! people do not question me about social security issues... or other stuff...
In the outside world, I could be judged in a very demoralizing way!
I have to learn to trust God and thank him for all events regardless of what I think of them during the time Im involved with them...
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I would like to go somewhere else... some other city or state... I would like to graduate from my situation and not come back...... and I would like to get to the point that Im confident enough to do so! that I can see the bigger picture....
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At some point, I think when Im better, I will find better people! Im starting to remember! Im starting to remember what a real friend might look like! I need better quality people to associate with!