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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (1009)
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- August 2019
Finding my voice
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 4:47 pm
Three important conversations with women
   Tue Aug 20, 2019 1:39 am
I letting socioapths attack me again; abuse me; feel demoralized
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 11:23 am
Mellowing; and idea of exploring the entrances to the gap...
   Mon Aug 19, 2019 1:20 am
A house and a backyard and 4 walls and a hobby
   Sun Aug 18, 2019 1:09 am
moving into know mans land (positive); and then through
   Fri Aug 16, 2019 9:41 pm
The Gap
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 8:37 pm
Teenage years
   Wed Aug 14, 2019 2:25 am
finding and painting rocks
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 5:14 pm
Expressing my feelings
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 3:26 pm
I know Ive never met any women to date ever....
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 11:02 am
Being alone all of my life with out women or a relationship
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:16 am
The wright brothers created plaines; Im creating my new life
   Tue Aug 13, 2019 8:41 am
A new era is starting; But Ive got problems
   Mon Aug 12, 2019 12:19 pm
Signs of the end is here; and a new era starting
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 6:13 pm
Trapped between 2 worlds
   Sun Aug 11, 2019 3:23 pm
Things are getting better; Im still fat; I got a problem
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 11:38 pm
Women have defeated me? and I feel deated? #1
   Fri Aug 09, 2019 6:45 am
Plans from the universe; they have cometh
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:39 pm
breaking things and coming together
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 11:44 am
What am I thinking about
   Wed Aug 07, 2019 4:16 am
That breaking point
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 8:45 pm
Needing my mothers permission
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:47 pm
And another day
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 5:03 pm
Im so right in the middle of the promises
   Tue Aug 06, 2019 4:35 pm
whats missing with music; live playing
   Mon Aug 05, 2019 11:22 pm
Women and John Denver
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 11:33 pm
Bulling
   Sun Aug 04, 2019 1:33 am
art images coming back and other things; taking action
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:35 pm
I wasn't suppose to break the my first girls heart....
   Sat Aug 03, 2019 12:47 pm
Take my mother out of the picture; what do I get.
   Fri Aug 02, 2019 11:47 pm
Where am at right now.
   Thu Aug 01, 2019 11:30 am

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alibis

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Thu Mar 22, 2018 11:56 pm

What is an alibi ?
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In success based thinking, an alibi is an excuse; a good one, for not doing anything! " the dog stole my test", "a lion is in the street, I cant cross it", " I didnt come from the right family" " if only I had the right people around me" and so on.............
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When it comes to dating, or attracting women; I was atracting massive amounts of beautiful women; I didnt allow them to get closer. I would always come up with an alibi because I didnt feel like I was enough! This concept of " negative alibi" was so bad, I was locked in an iron fence that surrounded every move I made! I could never let a women into my life, no matter how hard she tried! I was scared of beautiful women; I was afraid they would find out who I really am; laugh at me and run away! I was scared to death; "I could not complete" I thought other guys who were successful winners had the edge! " It wasn't my fault" I told myself! "I am who I am; I guess Im not enough"; thats what I told myself! I told myself what my alibi system controlled me to say!
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Abuse; I went through a sinister murdering type of abuse! A silent intended killer! I was neglected to death! When young, I was subject to brutal silent situations of attrition that forced me to be alone with myself! The goal was to get away from bad people! I was dissociative from an early age! By the time Im older, Im destroyed! I had the rug pulled out on me many many times; This cause terror; real true fear and terror. I had no control over my own life because others were legally in control and used this to destroy me at a base sub human evil level; a form of torture!
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I have all the legitimate alibis for never having a life again; never having a normal life or allowing anyone into my life or getting close to me!
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I used to pat myself on the back when a beautiful women came close to me and wanted me and I shunned her away; I went home and gave myself a " great job, your safe"! Suddenly stunned! I realized I was loosing at life at all directions! I was trying terrified; I was loosing my life and had not solutions. Loosing my life to be safe was automatic; I could not control it! I believe it was because of negative abusive auto suggestions played out, over n over no over into my subconscious mind! "I believe what I tell myself", over n over n over! I was brainwashed by psychopaths I was forced to live with!
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Today, I know better! However, I still have this solid set of negative alibis; and they must go; all of them!
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Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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