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OMNICELL
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Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
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- July 2019
Star trek
   Tue Jul 23, 2019 6:04 am
Writing new stories and meeting new people
   Mon Jul 22, 2019 9:25 pm
Can I love a women
   Mon Jul 22, 2019 3:44 pm
Never being loved
   Mon Jul 22, 2019 1:12 pm
High School
   Mon Jul 22, 2019 3:54 am
Things continue to change
   Sun Jul 21, 2019 10:53 pm
the strange world of getting better did
   Sun Jul 21, 2019 4:36 pm
This is not going to be easy.
   Sun Jul 21, 2019 10:47 am
Identity 101; so; it officinally begins; the rebuilding
   Sun Jul 21, 2019 2:25 am
Something positive is happening
   Sat Jul 20, 2019 11:54 pm
The Beatles
   Sat Jul 20, 2019 6:04 am
A place exists
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 11:21 pm
Things are changing again
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 3:41 pm
Things are heating up; Im now backing down
   Fri Jul 19, 2019 9:06 am
I have CPTSD
   Wed Jul 17, 2019 4:47 pm
Real changes are occurring
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 10:46 am
Coming back into the present
   Tue Jul 16, 2019 2:32 am
Im extremely frustrated
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 11:14 pm
Fining myself or facing myself
   Mon Jul 15, 2019 8:39 pm
Im beginning to understand
   Sun Jul 14, 2019 3:30 pm
Visualizing
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 8:28 pm
Starting from the beginning
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:35 pm
The trap house part 2
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 3:13 pm
The trap house; I only knew about; In the end I win
   Fri Jul 12, 2019 1:15 am
Massive Mega paradigm shift
   Thu Jul 11, 2019 3:01 pm
First post recovery conversation
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 9:55 pm
Dating and Art
   Wed Jul 10, 2019 4:44 pm
movement
   Tue Jul 09, 2019 5:56 pm
childhood abandonment
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:23 pm
Being single
   Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:53 am
Preview: PTSD; High School
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 10:31 pm
Fear
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 4:34 pm
Ive found some answers
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:41 pm
D.I.D; let me introduce myself
   Sat Jul 06, 2019 12:23 pm
PTSD; dealing with triggers.
   Fri Jul 05, 2019 5:32 am
Making me into a loser; its all about the critical voice
   Thu Jul 04, 2019 6:08 pm
Molding sound like clay; having reasons; Things are changing
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 4:25 pm
critical voice
   Wed Jul 03, 2019 6:38 am
Toxic shame
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 11:05 pm
Ive found some answers
   Tue Jul 02, 2019 7:59 am

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alibis

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Thu Mar 22, 2018 11:56 pm

What is an alibi ?
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In success based thinking, an alibi is an excuse; a good one, for not doing anything! " the dog stole my test", "a lion is in the street, I cant cross it", " I didnt come from the right family" " if only I had the right people around me" and so on.............
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When it comes to dating, or attracting women; I was atracting massive amounts of beautiful women; I didnt allow them to get closer. I would always come up with an alibi because I didnt feel like I was enough! This concept of " negative alibi" was so bad, I was locked in an iron fence that surrounded every move I made! I could never let a women into my life, no matter how hard she tried! I was scared of beautiful women; I was afraid they would find out who I really am; laugh at me and run away! I was scared to death; "I could not complete" I thought other guys who were successful winners had the edge! " It wasn't my fault" I told myself! "I am who I am; I guess Im not enough"; thats what I told myself! I told myself what my alibi system controlled me to say!
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Abuse; I went through a sinister murdering type of abuse! A silent intended killer! I was neglected to death! When young, I was subject to brutal silent situations of attrition that forced me to be alone with myself! The goal was to get away from bad people! I was dissociative from an early age! By the time Im older, Im destroyed! I had the rug pulled out on me many many times; This cause terror; real true fear and terror. I had no control over my own life because others were legally in control and used this to destroy me at a base sub human evil level; a form of torture!
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I have all the legitimate alibis for never having a life again; never having a normal life or allowing anyone into my life or getting close to me!
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I used to pat myself on the back when a beautiful women came close to me and wanted me and I shunned her away; I went home and gave myself a " great job, your safe"! Suddenly stunned! I realized I was loosing at life at all directions! I was trying terrified; I was loosing my life and had not solutions. Loosing my life to be safe was automatic; I could not control it! I believe it was because of negative abusive auto suggestions played out, over n over no over into my subconscious mind! "I believe what I tell myself", over n over n over! I was brainwashed by psychopaths I was forced to live with!
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Today, I know better! However, I still have this solid set of negative alibis; and they must go; all of them!
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Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression
agoraphobia
obsessive/compulsive disorder
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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