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OMNICELL
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1029
Joined: Tue Nov 15, 2011 5:06 am
Blog: View Blog (869)
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- May 2019
i have alot more to talk about
   Sat May 18, 2019 11:49 pm
I cant remember sex
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Somewhere in time
   Fri May 17, 2019 6:01 am
Goals of being myself again
   Thu May 16, 2019 8:36 pm
In limbo land
   Wed May 15, 2019 3:32 am
Getting fat and other things
   Mon May 13, 2019 6:14 am
Childhood horror starting to surface
   Sat May 11, 2019 12:00 am
blessings; this is stating for me; to feel blessed
   Thu May 09, 2019 7:41 pm
resentments and negative thinking
   Thu May 09, 2019 5:43 pm
Im working on stories
   Wed May 08, 2019 8:32 pm
Dissociative people write blogs
   Tue May 07, 2019 6:18 pm
Coming back; no friends
   Mon May 06, 2019 3:50 am

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After 4 years; nothing!

Permanent Linkby OMNICELL on Thu Aug 23, 2018 4:09 am

After 4 years; nothing! Ive worked with the universe for 4 years for a girlfriend and a new way of life; and nothing! zero!
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At times I just want to kill myself and go back into energy and leave this miserable place!
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I have no answers! its like Im living in hell! Its one big game! thats all it is!
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I never have girlfriends nor any friends; well I have a few; but their not who I wanted! their OK! their not who I wanted! thats the problem! I keep attracting all the wrong people!
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As for women; nothing; zero!
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I was on a giant soulmate search; It led specifically to Asian soulmate from Hawaii! Nothing! zero! its all a game! if women did show up! she was filth! worthless Ho! No respect for anything; no quality; nothing! No disrespect to her! She wants to flirt around with every other guy and make it seem like she's doing me a favor to notice me; thats fine; thats not the kind of quality person Im looking for; so; she doesn't count! Im waiting for quality people to show up! they didnt! So; Ive received nothing from the universe! nothing!
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Im at my wits end! I dont know what direction to go into! The universe is not giving me any answers! My inner being is not going me any answers; the source energy of the universe is not giving me any answers! I have no idea what to do; or where to turn! death?
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Im sick of going to the 12 step meetings I go to; their must be more to life; yes?
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I have no idea how to jump across this gap Im in!
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I cant believe that the universe could not supply one women out of 3 1/2 billion women; not one can get along with me; nothing! I mean; not one women is comparable with me; not one? nothing!
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And Im suppose to want to stay on this planet! why! Ive asked the universe for help a trillion times; nothing!

Dissociative Disorder
CPTSD
AVPD; Social avoidance
Previous/clinical Depression
lighter forms of agoraphobia
Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
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