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https://www.psychforums.com/blog/OMNICELL/a_sadistic_view_when_dealing_with_women_b-13322_sid-4c6ece4d2c84a884e0528af45c77da9a.html |
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| Author: | OMNICELL [ Mon Jun 29, 2020 9:43 pm ] |
| Blog Subject: | A sadistic view when dealing with women |
Ive been told I have a sadistic view when dealing with women; meaning my mother was a psychopath and I learned that love was hate and hate was love; at a brutal horrible level; and Im twisted from it; I was just talking to a women friend of mine all about it; she called the whole situation sadistic; I would agree; Ive been told it several times. . Im attempting to work through my feelings about women and my past; so I can feel safe around women; I dont trust them. The goal is to date; feel safe enough to date; meaning having some control over what I want; and not the feelings of defending myself... . Im trying to work through these feelings; feelings of a sadistic nature concerning my upbringing; it was not an upbringing; more a torture show. . So; I have a sadistic view of women; a backwards view; I hate those that love me and I dont trust them at all and they have to prove themselves to me a thousand times or I want go near them again. . I can't tell who likes me and who doesn't. I dont know who is gaming me or telling me the truth. I cant tell who is 2 faced and who is real. . I do not trust women that they are honestly interested in me; I think they are interested in someone else while acting like their interested in me; but their actually completely interested in me; they always look off in some other direction to some other guy; glancing; and when that happens; I loose hope and interest... . So; I have to seek help at some level to turn this around and now how to tell who is safe and who is not. . When all of these feelings are worked out; I can bi pass the women that dont count and meet the ones of a more mature nature and go out with them; become friends with them... that kind of thing. ... . ART; Im making in roads to art; Im shaking peoples hands that Ill do the art I promised to make to put on a wall somewhere; art gallery wall; we will see. This journey is unfolding. . . Women; This journey has been unfolding but has not started in the real friendship area; and this is where I have problems; imagining friendship with women; day to day stuff; seeing it in my head; visualizing it; this is the next area of work.... |
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